Chasing Divergents
by Iamgrut
Summary: The war still happens only a year after Tris' initiation. Lillian (OC) is on a mission to uncover the other pure divergent. Her mission to make dauntless and sneak out the unsuspecting divergent member. She only knows that this person is part of Dauntless. A/N I am not following the traditional story some themes will come directly from the movie some from the book but most my own
1. Chapter 1 - Welcome to Dauntless

**A/N: Like so many of you I have become obsessed with FanFiction. I started off as a guest reviewer and had the crazy thought that maybe I could write my own FanFiction stories. I am somewhat of a fraud, I am not educated having left school at a very young age. I know that my stories will not be the greatest and I will mess up "A LOT", however I am eager to learn and basically just enjoy.**

 **If I offend anyone with my writing I apologize in advance. I also want to acknowledge the _real_ authors who bless us with their free work, you're the reason I feel inspired enough to attempt writing.**

 **So here's the thing. I LOVE Divergent. I haven't yet read the books but plan to start those very soon. I had no knowledge of this site and when I found out, lets just say I've been glued ever since.**

 **Oh and if you're wondering about my name...I love guardians of the galaxy :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Divergent Collection. Those belong to Veronica Roth, I am simply borrowing some of her characters. Original characters belong to me. I will try to stay true to the original story as much as possible but I don't plan on staying canon...sorry.**

* * *

 ** _This story was actually kind of inspired by Natalie. I couldn't help wondering how much the story could have changed had she trained or told Tris about Divergents. Then that got me thinking, had someone been born Erudite and divergent and unable to hide that divergence at a early age, what would happen to her._**

* * *

 _"_ _Day is over, night has come. Today is gone what's done is done. Embrace your dreams, through the night. Tomorrow comes with a whole new light"_

 **Chapter 1**

 **Welcome to Dauntless**

* * *

Every day of my life had been gearing me up for this moment; it felt like it had come _too_ soon, time was no longer expanding but ceasing. Part of me was ready for this day, the part that had prepared mentally and physically for it; however the bigger part of me was so emotionally conflicted. This day would not only shape the rest of my life, but the lives of others. It comes at a great sacrifice but it's something that myself and my family had accepted so long ago.

The morning of the Choosing Ceremony had finally arrived, this was the day most dependents dreaded and few hoped for.

Society was not kind to those who did not fit into a faction. The decision we make today would not only free us from our confines, should we feel trapped, but imprison us in other ways, forcing us to conform in to our chosen faction. This is the cycle that has continued for 200years...however the decision I make today will either afford us more opportunity or bring Great War upon us.

"Lillian sweetheart breakfast is ready" My mom called from the kitchen,

"Okay won't be long" I called back, _truth_ was I was stalling. As I looked upon the person in the mirror all I saw was a terrified little girl. Almond shaped green and yellow eyes that used to look so unique to me _seemed_ so out of place now. There was nothing unique about them where I was going, nothing special. Here they held meaning and burned with life, here they held similar resemblance to my fathers and connected us. Where I was going they would just be the eyes of another person, nothing of substance just the eyes of yet another child forced to face independency. Pale skin that would usually have rosy toned hues on the high cheek bones that I inherited from my mom, along with her heart shaped face, poignant nose and pouty full lips. My raven thick tresses slicked back in a high pony tail and fell below my shoulder blades. I looked more confident than I felt, though I learned early on how to hide behind the facade I put up. Suffering in silence was something I'd just naturally adapted to.

Out of habit I adjusted the lapels of my royal blue blazer before I made my turn to leave. Routines are what I live by here in Erudite _after_ today the future is unknown.

As I entered the room my parents and little brother settled into silence, we all knew this day was coming yet it still felt a bit surreal that it had. Words did not need to be spoken to know exactly what we were feeling.

"It's time" My dad said, he had spoken the words so softly yet I felt as though they had been shouted at me. Behind these doors I was free to be myself as we all were the moment we step out we will no longer be US anymore. Before leaving our apartment I hold my family in a tight embrace forcing the tears back, it becomes increasingly difficult when my dad speaks

"I love you for all that you are all that you have been and all that you are yet to be. My life is nothing without my children and my beautiful wife. I am proud of you...no matter what you decide to do" he whispers lowly but we all hear it and it finally breaks my resolve, as I shed a few tears. I know he's letting me decide here that no matter how much we trained together this is still my choice to make

* * *

Entering the hub for the first time was a lot more daunting than I would have ever imagined. Sure I knew this day was approaching but I never really thought about how the actual event would take place. I guess I had been so focused on my mission that everything else seemed so meaningless. Now as I stand here taking in the scene before me I'm reminded as to why I fought so hard, why I trained as hard as I did. The choice I make today will not only free us all but free the children of our future generations to come. Surrounded in a sea of people wearing their traditional faction colors I feel somewhat out of place, a fraud among many. Had it not been for the love of my parents and younger brother I'm not sure I could have ever made it to this day in one piece.

Marcus Eaton is the last to arrive to the ceremony, but it is with his arrival that I and those around me know that it is time to start the proceedings. My family and I quickly embrace before they leave my side to seat at the back with the rest of the family's awaiting their children's decisions. Although my family knows that I am leaving today I cannot help but wonder what my factions' reaction to my transferring will do to them. When a child defects from their faction of birth parents are usually isolated from the rest of the faction, Erudite do not take kindly to defective children and often treat the parents like lepers should their offspring decide to leave. It's all a rouse to guilt children into staying my father once told me; in fact he told me that it was something Jeanine herself had installed once she took leadership. She's also the reason I am about to embark on a dangerous journey.

"The faction system is a living being, composed of cells. All of you, and the only way it can survive and thrive is for each of you to claim your rightful place. The future belongs to those who know where they belong" Jeanine says wrapping up her speech, there is nothing heartfelt in the way she speaks; cold and concise are all that, that woman knows. Manipulation is her greatest tool most of the Erudite members and dependents for that matter applauded her with awe like manner and although I do not want to, I join in on the applause too. Marcus Eaton is next to speak why Jeanine was given an accolade to speak is completely ridiculous to me; no other leader is given that right only the government. Yet Jeanine somehow got her moment of glorified speech...I loathed that woman

"When we leave this room, you will no longer be dependents but full-fledged members of our society. Faction before blood" Marcus says, his eyes travelling across the crowds of people before finally landing on his own faction Abnegation

"Faction before blood" the entire assembly hall echo's. They're words we here live by but in the depths of my soul they will never be real to me

"Ashlyn Zellous" My best friend here since our infancy and the other part of the reason my stay here in Erudite was bearable. I do not wish to leave Ash as much as I do not wish to leave my family, but pressing matters call for my attention. The greater good is at risk and as my parents have taught me I need to be brave.

"Erudite" Marcus calls, our faction applaud her in a very Erudite manner. Meaning we clap stiffly and almost robotically without expression and without enthusiasm. It is not in Erudite to be rambunctious after all. Ashlyn takes her seat in the row before me but manages to throw me a small smile before she does. My heart constricts at the knowledge that this will be our last encounter, it's almost enough to bring me to tears again.

"Hayley Yellar" My eyes stay trained to the stage as a girl in Dauntless black takes the stage, her hair is wild, with a mixture of green and purple highlights streaking through her platinum blonde hair. She's slim but she has prominent definition in her form, most likely years of built up training.

"Dauntless" Marcus announces as her blood drops over the bowl of burning embers, as suspected Dauntless applaud loudly with so much enthusiasm that it almost makes me crack a smile at their display. They definitely do not do things quietly.

"Lillian Wright" Distracted by the Dauntless members and dependents I almost miss the announcement of my name being called. I stand with the confidence of an Erudite member and walk the short distance to the bowls where Marcus offers a small Abnegation smile...it looks fake but I don't bother to delve into it at the minute. The silver blade of the knife sits on the table with gauzes for when I've completed the choice. Conjuring a huge breath I slice the knife to my palm easily and without a wince, hovering over the bowl of my choice but lingering on the water of Erudite. I may hate what Erudite now stand for but it's where my family are and despite how much I yearn to stay for them I know what I'm about to do will be the better choice for me, even without the mission. It's where I belong...where my heart calls to me

"Dauntless" Marcus announces his voice carrying right to the depths of the back lines. The hiss of my blood still resonates over the sea of Dauntless cheer, grabbing gauze I give one final look toward my former faction before turning to my new one. I'm greeted with the enthusiasm of a small child. Excitement light the eyes of the few dependents I make eye contact with and joyous thunderous calls of encouragement

ring throughout the rest. The closets of the dependents jostle me clapping me on my back as a congratulatory gesture as I take my seat to my new home. It's a warm welcome that I can't help feeling insignificant for.

The Ceremony concludes 2hours after I had chosen. Fourteen Dauntless born remain while only six including myself transferred. It's easily the smallest group Dauntless has seen and it only enforces the reason for this mission, with one last final look back at my family I leave the hub with a sense of longing. I follow along with the rest of the transfers trailing behind the Dauntless born to see what adventures are to come.

Unlike the other factions Dauntless take the stairs down from the high building running through the staircase like madmen and whooping like maniacs. It's hard not to feel some type of adrenaline rush when you're surrounded with them, their crazy loud whooping antics are actually quite contagious though I suppress my joy out of shyness.

Once we hit the main road, the Dauntless and transfers spread across the pathways making it near impossible for on walkers to get past. As they run they shout and cheer, this day is after all the beginning of our independence they are merely celebrating in the only appropriate manner they have grown to know. A few feet a head is a bridge that connects the train lines, I've seen Dauntless climb this particular railing so it's no surprise when the Dauntless born begin to scale up the pillars holding the bridge together. My eyes focus on the first boy to make it to the pillars learning his movements. He moves almost gracefully as he easily climbs with the sleekness of a trained assassin. I easily replicate the moves and make it to the platform before even some of the Dauntless born. A girl whom I recognize from Faction school smiles widely at me when I land near her, beside her stands the boy I replicated who is also smiling widely at me too

"Not bad" The girl says, her eyes scan my figure up and down before she finally settles on my face. It's not an unusual look for the Dauntless however it does still make me uncomfortable to be scrutinized that way

"What's your name?" She finally says having finished her rather blatant assessment of my form

"Lill...ah Lilz. My name is Lilz" I stammer, I remember my father once told me he and mom had to change their names when they transferred to Erudite because their birth names did not meet Erudite criteria. My father now goes by the name Drake Wright previously known as Dragon Wright he transferred from Dauntless, he's also the reason I and my brother are quite skilled in combat. My mom who transferred from Amity changed her name from Daisy Smiter to Dionne Smiter later becoming Dionne Wright taking my father's name. Although I loved my name I know it would not hold up in Dauntless...I would probably be ridiculed for it quite honestly after all I was named after my mom's two favorite flowers. Lillian Rose...Lily for short. Here in Dauntless I had to blend not standout and not give them reason to tease and Lilz sounded quite perfect for the Dauntless.

"Well Lilz glad you made it. I'm Peyton and this is my cousin Logan" The girl with the huge smile says while extending her hand toward me. My father taught both my brother and I to shake hands like the Dauntless, though he warned me that I would need to be bad the first few times I "attempt" it with a member or Dauntless born. Lazily I take her hand and weakly shake, her grip is firm and strong just as I expected it to be, I ignore the look of somewhat disgust as she attempts to make me grasp her hand firmly and I forcibly fail she eventually gives up within almost a second. Having witnessed my useless attempt her cousin doesn't offer a handshake instead he just smiles widely at me like his cousin Peyton. I idly wonder if their cheeks hurt from the action.

"Nice to meet you" I finally say finding my voice after an embarrassing false attempt of the handshake, I try to offer up a smile but sadly the loss of my family is still lingering in my heart for me to really pull it off

"Erudite huh...well let's see if you can keep up blue" Peyton says with a cheeky wink. At first I'm not entirely sure what she's talking about **until** I hear the blaring of the train. It was never something dad could physically teach me because Erudite do not jump trains, we have vehicles. However he did teach me their technique. The train begins to whiz past me. "Hurry up Lilz" Peyton shouted as she and Logan began to sprint alongside the train. I pick up the pace watching Logan again, he seems to be a good role model for this type of thing. He maneuvers into the train exactly as my father once described it. I wait for Peyton to jump in and I'm right behind her, grabbing the pull bar I heave my left leg up to the first step using it to anchor the rest of my body then easily swing in on to the train with almost as much grace as I saw Logan. Both he and Peyton smile again as I place a steady foot to the ground and manage to stay upright. I watch one by one as every Dauntless born gets on board and surprised when every transfer also makes it, I say surprised because not a one lands on their feet, a few fall face flat while the rest crawl on to the cold stainless steel floor grappling for dear life

"That wasn't half bad" Peyton says wearing what I can only describe as her trademark smile, Logan has moved on to talk with a few other people whom I can only assume are his friends while Peyton kindly waits with me.

"Thanks" I say smiling at her, it's not right of me to make friends hopefully I won't have to get too attached to her during my stay here it would only make what I have to do harder.

"You know if I didn't know any better I'd say you'd done this before" she teases, however the fact that she's picked up on my few skills makes me realize my mistake. Of course I hadn't actually done this before but I'd trained a bit for it, I couldn't be this reckless again from this point on I had to appear aloof.

"I've never done it no. Having said that I used your cousin as my example to attempt the jump. What can I say Erudite are quick studies" I say with a shrug, it is true Erudite pick things up quickly but never in the physical sense I definitely have to play it cool going forward

"Logan...Pft who do you think taught him?" She scoffs while pointing to herself at the same time. I guess I should have been watching Peyton.

"Well since you're the master of all things Dauntless how about you teach me that hand shake. I sure could use your expertise" I say with a slight chuckle, Peyton surprises me by laughing too except her laugh seems so carefree and easy, there is nothing forced about this girl she's just naturally happy...and that can't be good for me. Relationships will only hinder my progression here and I cannot allow that to happen...though I'm not sure I could stop myself from becoming friends with such a person

"You're damn right I'm the expert!" She chuckles. "For a first handshake you weren't _too_ bad...but for a Dauntless it was _really_ hopeless" she says perking up to the challenge

For the duration of our trip Pey as she likes to be called teaches me the basic techniques to a good sturdy handshake. I digest it as I would if it really was my first lesson in this particular area, and if I'm being honest her lesson is far more entertaining than dads. Satisfied with her teachings she calls her cousin back to us, his head perks up at her voice and he comes to her willingly as do a few of the others.

"What's up cuz?" He says eyeing her with strange curiosity; he seems guarded for some reason though I don't understand why

"Go Lilz show em" Pey says turning her enthusiasm on me, I stifle a smile in an attempt to keep serious for the benefits of this lesson. I stick my arm out straighter and more confident towards Logan while he raises his brow at me, placing his much larger hand in mine I squeeze his hand in my first "real" attempt at shaking a hand. Once he catches on as to what we're actually doing his face splits into the trademark smile he and Pey share and he shakes my hand back with earnest. It's exactly as it should be firm and strong, and I can tell by his surprised expression that Pey and I have pulled it off. I pull back from him first and turn to offer Pey a genuine smile one that I hope conveys my thanks

"Get ready!" An older gentlemen on the train calls out since we're a smaller group most of us made it to this one cabin a few others landed in other cabins but the majority of the group made it here. Peyton turns toward me as does Logan; they have that look of challenge again.

"What's going on?" A boy formally of Candor speaks up, the Dauntless born do not respond to his question they merely smile at him almost condescendingly. The doors of the cabin open and before anyone can utter a word two of the Dauntless born fly out the moving train leaping into the air to land on the top of the Dauntless area roof. Gasps from the transfers fill the cabin; it's just sunken in that we all have to jump to get to our new chosen faction.

"Come on blue" Pey says to me before she runs to catch her cousin who has just jumped. The distance is about 2.5meters from the train to the roof but that's not the scary part. The drop is four stories high and to fall would mean immediate death. _Be brave_ the words echo in my thoughts as if they were spoken directly to me. Deciding I need the leverage I create a wider berth for myself before I make a sprint run out the train doors. My legs extend in opposite directions as I make the leap of faith toward the roof. As my front foot connects with the graveled roof top, I tuck myself within myself in order to roll to a stand. My execution is somewhat staggered but at least I made it. As I turn back toward the train I notice that one person did not make it, a Candor boy with a horrified expression as his face now fades away into the distance. He will now have to live factionless. My heart goes out to him...although the only way I can truly help him now is by getting through this initiation.

"Alright listen up, I'm Max I'm one of your leaders. If you want to enter Dauntless this is the only way in. Here you will learn that orders are not optional, so if you don't jump you don't belong here" Max says with a smirk, his beady eyes scan the small group of initiates with a predatory gleam. He is goading us, taunting us inflicting powerful fear within us all just by the stance and smugness on his menacing face. It's almost enough to want me to push him down off the roof myself

"Well somebody has to go first who will it be" he says his tone alone insinuates that we are afraid and for whatever reason this does not sit well with me

"I will" I announce clearly while gritting my teeth in irritation. His head whips in my direction and he almost looks proud. Stepping down from the roof top he moves to make way for me. The crowd parts as I move toward the front both Pey and Logan give me a pat of encouragement when I pass them. I take a step to the top looking beneath me only to be greeted with a gaping black hole. The hole looks like it has been there for as long as our faction system has existed, sharp edges with steel bars protruding from the rocky tiled roof create the imagery of danger. If I miss calculate and jump out too far I could quite literally go through one of the bars and fall to my death. As I stand for maybe a second longer than I should I hear the irritated croaking of Max's impatient voice urging me to hurry up. With a deep unsteady breath I step out from the ledge and fall into the unknown abyss. I dear not scream as my body falls, the wind is rushing in an upward position causing my clothing to flail in disarray. The soft cushioning of a net catches my fall and with it escapes a gasp of shock at the sudden impact. My body fly's upward before it catches again to the net, this time bouncing with me to a steady still. My eyes are trained to the top of the opening of the torn hole above only to see heads peek over the edging, the shock horror of the experience illicit a sudden hysterical laugh from me. Before I can get control of my sudden burst of hysteria I feel the net being pulled down to one side taking with it my body. I roll toward the sudden movement only to have my eyes land on a pair piercing steely gray blue ones, which seem to be glaring at me in slight disgust. The Dauntless man doesn't wait long before he rips me from the net by the waist and places me firmly to the ground

"Name" he all but growls at me as he towers above me in an attempt to appear more intimidating than necessary. It's something my father said they do to test you for cowardice, thankfully I'm able to keep my cool as my eyes stay fixed to his, though I'm anything but inside

"Lilz" I say confidently, his eyes slant searching mine for god knows what before he seems satisfied enough to announce my name

"First jumper Lilz" He calls out, the cold room fills with rowdy applause pulling me from this man's unique blended eyes and finally focusing on the others here.

"Welcome to Dauntless" The man whispers lowly in my ear causing me to go ridged as his lips graze the side shell of my ear before he steps away, I don't look back toward him knowing my face has turned a shade of red from the action I instead walk toward the cheering Dauntless in hopes that I will calm down.

 **A/N: If you want to review then please do. I would love your feedback if you feel like you want to, if not thank you for reading. I want to continue with this story but if no one feels like I should stop please feel free to tell me. No hard feelings. :D**


	2. Chapter 2 - Never give up

**A/N: Thank you first of all to my first EVER reviewer Classybird. It made my entire day. I'm not writing for the recognition...but hey I have to say that review gave me a boost ;). Hopefully those of you who have stopped by to read this story have enjoyed it, if not please don't be afraid to say so. If I can tailor it to your liking or fix it in any way to make it better then by all means let me know how. :D My updates won't be this quick all the time but I will be consist 2 to 3 days. Sorry I promised myself my family would always come first.**

 **If I offend anyone with my writing I apologize in advance. I also want to acknowledge the _real_ authors who bless us with their free work, you're the reason I feel inspired enough to attempt writing.**

 **Today I completed reading one of the most fantastic fanfiction stories EVER. I have reviewed her story once but not as often as I would have liked (as a guest reviewer, not a member I'm still new). If anyone hasn't read Dauntless Gray yet...GO DO THAT NOW.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Divergent Collection. Those belong to Veronica Roth, I am simply borrowing some of her characters. Original characters belong to me. I will try to stay true to the original story as much as possible but I don't plan on staying canon...sorry.**

* * *

 _This story was actually kind of inspired by Natalie. I couldn't help wondering how much the story could have changed had she trained or told Tris about Divergents. Then that got me thinking, had someone been born Erudite and divergent and unable to hide that divergence at a early age, what would happen to her._

 ** _Recap: Lillian has now become Lilz. I hope you don't mind that I made her father Dauntless born. But there will be more explanation on him in later chapters.  
_**

 ** _Can anyone guess who the cousins are?_**

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 _"The harder the struggle the more glorious the triumph"_

 **Chapter 2**

 **Never give up**

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I wasn't surprised when Peyton followed next behind me, though she was much louder in her fall. The screaming shout of excitement left her lips the moment she made the leap and never seemed to stop even when she made it to the net. This time the man who helped me did not assist her but instead another Dauntless women. I heard a few people behind me cheer in what sounded mostly like relief. This must be her family. As soon as she is extracted from the net she makes a beeline toward me smiling widely toward me and those around me. Before she can even pause to say a word, a pair of bronzed skinned almost identical guys step forward to embrace her followed closely by another set of bronzed set guys. Peyton squeals in delight as one by one they all pass her around. Their reunion makes me jealous even though I know I shouldn't be since it was my choice to leave my own family. I move my eyes back toward Mr. Intense only to find he's staring right back, though this time he doesn't appear to look as menacing as he did when he pulled me from the net, if anything he looks slightly intrigued. I don't know if this is a good thing or bad, before I can think too much on it the next person falls into the net which just so happens to be Logan. I know that he will receive the same reception as Peyton so I move away slightly to give his family time to embrace him.

It only took 15minutes for all the initiates and other members to complete the jump. With the Candor boy not completing the jump that only left 19 of us in total, I can tell by the others reactions in the room that they were expecting more.

"Dauntless born go with Four...transfers stay with me" Mr. Intense says in a commanding voice that sends _shivers_ throughout my body, I have no idea why I'm reacting this way but I don't have time to think about that right now.

"My names Eric, one of your leaders here and for the few of you that have made it this far I will also be your trainer...lucky you" Eric smirks then before he can utter another word he turns and begins to walk away, leaving us wondering what to do. "Well are you waiting for an invitation, move it!" He growls over his shoulder toward us now five transfers. The others jump in shock at his harsh tone while I resist the urge to roll my eyes. What a complete jerk.

Eric leads us through a tunnel as dark as the hole we fell through, only here there is no light. I guess you have to brave enough to walk through.

After what feels like a long time we finally near a lightly lit doorway to which Eric leads us through. He makes no attempt to slow down as he barrels down the red lit stair case almost as if he wants to lose us...actually I'm almost certain he does. We make it down two flights of stairs before he turns down a cave like hall way highlighted only by the light blue aqua fluorescent lighting. The ceilings, walls and floor are all cemented stone, but have an almost carved like texture to them. The lighting shadows the stone in intricate patterns that dances along the cave in an artistry type of way. There's just something so beautiful about the rustic look of it. The deeper we walk into the cave the louder the echoing sound of drums and people become, till finally we come to stand above a high stoned platform overlooking what I can only describe as a pit.

"This is the pit...get used to it, it's where you'll spend most of your time... _well_ if you make it" Eric says as if the thought of us becoming factionless is something he's striving for AND from what I've seen of this man I would almost say he was. Below us are sea of Dauntless members celebrating in un-organized chaos. Some look to be sparring in friendly competition while onlookers cheer them on, a few more are gathered around the beating sound of the drums dancing along to the high tempo beat, fewer groups congregate in loud conversation and then there are the couples cuddling up slightly above the pit making out in a public display of affection, those are the ones I avoid making eye contact with. Erudite are in no way shy about their love connections, but they keep their PDA restricted mostly to the privacy of their homes. In a way Erudite are a lot like the Abnegation sharing their conservative views in that particular area.

"Let's move on" Eric shouts over the noise created below by his faction. My eyes immediately move back toward his _only_ to find _again_ that he looking at me, it's almost as if he were watching for my reaction...the _last_ thing I want to do is attract the attention of a Dauntless Leader. His curiosity makes me nervous...well if you can call it curiosity that remains to be seen.

The Chasm though potentially dangerous has a slight eerily beauty about it. The raging white waters come in from three directions falling to jagged rocked like stone below. Attempting to jump this would be pure suicide a point in which Eric points out.

"Many have attempted to jump the Chasm and none have ever survived. Let that be your warning as you walk through this place" He says sounding almost concerned for us...I say almost because he shoots forward in an attempt to scare one of the other transfers which only causes her to flinch and almost fall due to the lack of railings. Eric only just manages to grab her before she flies off the edge, but as he pulls her back he has the most awful smirk on his face, one that I'm sure he reserves purposely for when he's being a complete and utter douche.

When Eric seems satisfied enough that he's scared the living _begeus_ out of us he moves on. Pointing out where certain amenities are for our use. It's a lot to take in but it's also exciting...even if it is Eric showing us around.

"You're gonna be sleeping here for the next ten weeks...and before you ask YES both boys and girls will be sleeping here" Eric says as he leads us into our dorm room, it looks like a bottomless pit. Most of the cots are for small children but what's worse is the bathroom. It's completely open with zero privacy, I won't even go into detail about how filfty it actually is...it's enough to make me gag.

"Get dressed, dinners in an hour" Eric says as he turns his back on us and leaving the room. The five of us stand for a few minutes more taking in what will be our home for the next two and a half months. The Amity Girl looks like she'd much prefer factionless to this and I can't say that I blame her. With a heavy sigh I decided to make lemonade out of lemons and move to a cot to get changed. There are plenty of spare cots here that would make useful separators for the showers and toilets. It'll take a bit of work but I'm willing to do it if it means I can shower in peace. The clothing fits me like a second skin; the additional padding would worry me had I not jumped off a moving train which caused the lacerations and bruises on my body. It's not that I didn't notice it before it's just I never gave it a thought as to why...after today that is.

Everyone dresses in complete silence glancing up every so often, with the loss of the Candor boy that leaves only two boys in our group one more Candor boy whom questioned the Dauntless born on the train and an Erudite...you would think I knew his name but I don't, until today I'd never seen his face. Beside me was another Erudite girl I think her name was Cassidy and the Amity girl who looked scared as hell. If she had a remote chance of surviving here she'd better learn quick how to keep her fears hidden, the last thing you want to do here was let people see your weaknesses.

With time to spare I decide to check out the closets to see if there are any cleaning products, and as luck would have it I find the perfect cleaning agent one that Erudite conducted when we had the lab explosion the same year I started training. It works miracles and best of all it's a leave and spray. Satisfied that I've sprayed every nook and cranny I return to the dorm room with every pair of eyes trained on me I ignore them as best I can and take a seat on the end of my cot as they all have. The silence around the room gives me ample time to think...wondering if I'd chosen to remain in Erudite how or rather what would I be doing now. Jeanine would no doubt be giving the initiates a personal tour of the facility watching over her initiates has always been something she personally over saw, and it definitely wasn't because she cared. No Jeanine was much too heartless for that...she looked for sheep, people who she could easily manipulate. There of course was a criteria to being in Jeanine's favor, you had to test in the top 3%, follow orders without question though that was hard for any rational Erudite because it is in their nature to question everything and finally you had to fight against the so called imminent threat of Divergents. If you had nothing to offer Jeanine she would not pay you any mind and most likely make you factionless. It was right after Jeanine came into power that she created the cut off rule of Erudite, and although Dauntless too has a high factionless rate it was the only place I knew I had to be.

"What do you think it'll be like here?" The Erudite boy says breaking the silence between the five of us, the Candor boy answers him first not that I'm surprised...it's such a Candor thing to do

"Crazy" He blurts out, that's all Candor's problem, they have no filter and just say whatever they're thinking. The Erudite chuckles but then surprises me by directing his question to me.

"What do you think Lillian?" Shoot he knows my name, and try as I might I can't for the life of me remember his.

"Lilz...I go by Lilz now" I say to him correcting him, I don't want that name spreading around especially since it's a name that I only wish to hear coming from my families lips.

"Hmm...it suites you...so what do you think?' He asks after he gives me a compliment, though I note he doesn't tell me his name which is part of the reason I wanted to share mine in hopes he'd share his.

"Like Candor said _crazy_ " I smirk, he and I think Cassidy roll their eyes knowing full well that I meant that as an Erudite insult. It's a joke among the Erudite to phrase a sentence with _Like Candor Said_. To the intellectual it's smart and witty to the Candor it's a compliment, and judging by the look on Candor's face _that is_ exactly how he's taken it.

"See the beautiful girl agrees" The Candor boy says throwing me a wink, if I didn't know he was kidding I would have blushed but since it's apparent that he is I just laugh.

"I'm Tristan" Candor continues while managing to throw a flirtatious smile in our general direction. I can already tell he's going to be someone I would like to be around, he doesn't seem the type to take everything too seriously and for what I'm about to embark on he's just the type I need around.

"Anthony" Erudite says, his name still eludes me. He definitely looks the typical Erudite quaffed slicked back hair, and immaculate presentation. He and Tristan are both equal in size...meaning they are both lean and tall.

Both he and Tristan turn toward the Amity girl who pulls at the end of her shirt, she blushes bright red before she speaks or rather whispers he name

"Oh I'm Maddison" Amity says, she's a lot more reserved than any other Amity I'd encountered

"Well I'm Cassidy, I have to say I was surprised when you chose Dauntless...you just seemed so Erudite" Cassidy says to me, I notice Anthony looking at me with the same mix of surprise I guess I better get this out of the way

"Apparently my aptitude disagrees" I tell them, everyone in the room shivers so if I had to fathom a guess I'd say they all killed that poor dog. Of course I did too but unlike my fellow initiates I did it purposely.

"Yeah I guess I know what you mean" Cassidy says with a saddened sigh, none of us know what to say at this point so it's great timing when Eric storms back into the room

"Get up. Collect your old clothes and follow me" Eric commands before swiftly turning away from us. We all each rush to catch up to him fumbling over our old items, I can't image why he insists we bring them with us to dinner.

"We here in Dauntless have a tradition of sorts for transfers. The burning of your old faction clothing is to commiserate the letting go of your old life. Discard your clothing then join in with your new faction for dinner" Eric says leaving us to stand over a large bin of burning coals. It seems like a waste to me burning them when we could be donating them, but like the others I toss them in the barrel and watch as they come alight.

* * *

The giant mess hall is as the pit was alive with noise, many heads swivel at our arrival. Their curious eyes bore into us as we all stand awkwardly in the entrance way, it's a little unnerving and makes me feel like an animal at the zoo. Ignoring the scrutinizing eyes of the Dauntless members I heave a breath and head toward the initiates tables, as I begin to walk I spot Peyton immediately since she waves me over toward her enthusiastically. She looks like she's about to explode with happiness...I've never met someone so alive before, she's in a category all her own and rivals that of the Amity with her cheery upbeat persona

"Yay you made it! sit sit quick!" Peyton exclaims as soon as I'm close enough to her table to hear. I bite my lip to hide my smile at her as I catch her cousin Logan teasing her behind her back. Their behavior is much the same as my brother and I...dammit I need to shut down that thought before I get too nostalgic and begin to cry

"Thanks" I tell her as soon as I'm seated, Anthony takes the seat next to me followed by Tristan, Cassidy and Maddison sit across from me next to a few other Dauntless borns that I've not met yet.

"So tell me what do you think?" Peyton asks her voice high pitched and giddy her friends I think all roll their eyes in amusement at her enthusiasm but otherwise look toward me for an answer

"It's hard to describe" I whisper feeling uncomfortable with the attention

"Oh come on Lilz you're Erudite surly you can think of something" Peyton scoffs, this causes Cassidy and Anthony to chuckle and well myself too, she of course is right being from Erudite words are how we live, of course the way we phrase our words are more critical than not. We base our thoughts on knowledge and facts we don't blurt the first thing that comes to mind. So without thinking about it I find myself contemplating her question thinking how best to put into words what I've seen or liked about this place

"It's hard to best describe something for this place using words... It's energetic, high octane so full of life and crazy beautiful. There's a certain type of danger that surrounds the compound, yet that danger element only draws you in, pulsates the blood with new life and excitement at the unknown risks" I answer in more detail than I had originally given, this time Peyton looks at me with glazed eyes and a smirk that tells me she's mocking me

"See Erudite that wasn't so hard" she says with a giggle

"That's former Erudite, Dauntless" I tease, she and the surrounding Dauntless born initiates all laugh at that as do the other transfers

During the course of dinner Peyton takes it upon herself to introduce her friends to me.

"This is Jared, Hails, Colby, Ethan, Troy, Heath, Zoey and of course you remember Logan" Pey says, they each turn toward me nodding their heads and offering smiles _none_ of which are as bright as Peyton and Logan's _but_ definitely bigger than one I've ever attempted to make.

"This is Anthony, Tristan, Maddison, Cassidy and I'm Lilz" I say feeling somehow obligated into introducing the others, Anthony smiles at me before saying hello to the others.

"So who are they?" Tristan asks nodding his head in the direction of the other Dauntless initiates that have purposely segregated themselves from the group. From what I've learned about the so called "New" Dauntless way of things is that it is quite cut throat gone is the team work value, it's now every man for himself so to speak. If them sitting aside from the others is what I think it is then it is with them that we all need to be careful around.

"That's Jordan, Trent, Olivia, Grea and Mitchey. They're ruthless they're only focused on winning and taking down anyone who gets in their way. If you know what's good for you you'll just keep away from them, they're all trouble" Logan answers in a serious tone. His answer doesn't surprise me as much as it does the others, but it still bothers me. It now worries me that Peyton will be sharing a space with such people, I don't know the girl other than a few small conversation's here and there but I already feel somewhat protective of her...I know I'm here for one purpose and that is to make Dauntless but after meeting Peyton I know I can't not get somehow attached to her and that's the worrying part. How can I successfully do my job if I'm already growing attached to certain people here?

"Thanks for the warning" Tristan says while eyeing up the other Dauntless born initiates.

Suddenly a loud clanking of metal crashing on the table tops of the mess hall emanates from the surrounding tables causing us transfers to look around in confusion.

"Initiates. Stand." Max commands,

"You have chosen to join the warrior faction, tasked with the defense of this city and all its inhabitants. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery and the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. Respect that. Do us proud." His words resonate within me and though the delivery was rather powerful he lacked the passion. The members and most of the initiates begin to clap and cheer in respect so I follow along, the member's beeline for us lifting all the initiates to our feet and hoisting us in the air suffering us through the ambiguous crowd. The laughter from the others causes me to smile...if only everyday was like this. Carefree and problem free. For the small amount of time that I have it I will embrace it.

* * *

I awoke from a dark dream. I'd watched as my family were dragged to their deaths while I watched helplessly and unable to stop it. It was one of my biggest fears and one that my father had taught me to suppress during my fear simulations, however there was no escaping it in my dreams. The only good thing to happen from it was that I was able to wake up before screaming and waking the others from their slumber. Deciding that there was no way I would be able to sleep after having such a horrific dream I head to the showers. Thankfully we as a group banned together and made makeshift dividers for the showers and toilets last night so this morning as I shower it gives me privacy to just stand under the water while it soothes away the bad dream that I will fight everyday not to let come true.

After my shower I head back to my cot and one by one the others wake up even though I was trying to be quiet. No one speaks really because sleep is still evident in their eyes, they merely shower and get our dorm cleaned. When Eric steps into our room he's shocked to see that we're all awake and more than that we're ready.

"Get to the pit!" he growls turning away quickly from us. It's then that I notice he's holding a spanner, and it's also with that, that I realize we messed up his glorified attempt at waking us in what I can only assume is one of his favorite things to do. We waste no time running to the pit, the other man that led the Dauntless born away from the net looks up at us in surprise when he sees us but he doesn't say anything to voice it

"There are two stages of training, the first is physical. Push your bodies to their breaking point while mastering the methods of combat. The second is mental again breaking point. You'll face your worst fears and conqueror them...unless they get you first. You'll be trained separately from the Dauntless born but you'll be ranked together after initiation rankings will determine what jobs you move into. Leadership, guarding the fence or keeping the factionless from killing each other. Rankings will also determine who gets cut and before you ask YES I mean cut from the program where you'll live factionless" Eric says sternly, his eyes moving across the five of us

"But how is that right" Anthony asks

"I don't care what you think is right...if you're really one of us it won't matter to you if you might fail...alright you chose us...now we get to choose you" Eric says glaring at him then spinning around quickly, hesitantly everyone follows in his wake. The elation that some may have been feeling this morning has all but evaporated, fighting for our survival has now become more pressing than the fun that they may have expected waking up this morning. Stepping into the large training room should be met with excitement and a chance to challenge ourselves, but that doesn't exist anymore what we see before us isn't an opportunity to be better and become Dauntless. What we now see is a room that will either make or break a person, and as I look upon the faces of my fellow initiates it's clear that they're already broken.

It's my focus on the others that I miss a beautiful petite blonde girl standing on the mats.

"This is Tris, she'll be working with me for the next 10 weeks. She is still in training herself but for the most part will be overseeing your training initiation process" Eric says sounding annoyed, Tris however looks upon him with nothing but respect although there is a small detection of loathing behind her hazel eyes. The tension between these two is so palpable that it makes for an awkward situation

"Let's begin" Eric says firmly leaving the room, he has a habit of just assuming we know what to do. So instead of waiting to be berated as we were yesterday we each just fall in step behind him nervously awaiting what Eric has in stall for us. We eventually end up on the roof where there are rows of dummie targets and what looks to be an obstacle like gun shooting course. I try hard not to show my excitement as I spot the guns displayed on the pristine black coaled table top, I can almost feel the cool like steel between my fingers.

"Tris will demonstrate how to use a gun. Pay attention, everything counts" Eric says firmly, there is no mistaking the seriousness of his words but for added confirmation Eric stands to glare at each of us to ensure his message is clear

"There are four important rules that if followed strictly, will keep you and others safe so you can have a good time unloading a few rounds" Tris says in an uncharastically hard voice considering her size a polite demeanor

"The first. _Always treat firearms as if it were loaded_. No ifs and or buts about it. Even if you know the gun is unloaded, still handle it as if it were loaded" She says while looking a lot more fierce than I had originally thought...interesting

"The second. _Always keep the firearm pointed in a safe direction_ , a direction where a negligent discharge would cause minimum property damage and zero physical injury. Even the most experienced gun handlers break this rule from time to time, if caught you'll find out very quickly what happens to those who break this rule" She says with a shudder leaving me to ponder what she'd seen to cause such a reaction

"The third. _Always keep your trigger finger off the trigger and outside the trigger guard until you have made a conscious decision to shoot_ " She doesn't pause to elaborate on this, though it is seemingly obvious

"The fourth" _Always be sure of your target, backstop and beyond_. You want to be aware of what's in your line of fire" This time Tris looks across the five of us looking for any detection of mis-understanding, she must see nothing out of the ordinary so she continues

Tris then goes into an elaborate lesson on how to grip a handgun, assuming the extended shooting position, how to aim and finally ending with trigger management or more commonly known as pulling the trigger. For a former Erudite I find the lesson in detail rather helpful, without being shown I can already paint an accurate picture of how exactly to hold and fire a gun...not that I needed the lesson, even so her method of explanation is thorough and educational. She then demonstrates what she said, reiterating for us just in case we've missed something, which in itself is another great educational tool for re-enforcing the message. Over all Tris is a wonderful trainee trainer, not to mention she's far less intimidating than Eric...don't get me wrong I can certainly tell that this girl or woman is no pushover but even so it's nice to know there is someone who seems more compassionate than our fearless leader.

"Line up" She then says after shooting her cartilage round it doesn't escape anyone's attention that she also shot the bulls eye every shot either. I suppose it gives me some hope that if Tris can do it then so can the others...despite my better judgment I've allowed myself to become somewhat attached to these people, they seem to genuinely care about others and for the most part seem like decent human beings. If there is some way I can help them to progress here I will do it.

I take position between Tristan and Maddison with Cassidy and Anthony on the outskirts of the line. Doing as instructed I take the gun before me stifling a sigh of contentment as the gun sits in my hands. The cold steel is a reminder of happier times and though that is a confusing concept to most it's the memory of my "childhood" prior to being an independent. Taking aim I line the target with perfect precision knowing that if I were to take the shot now I would hit it dead centre, however as I take account of the others I see that most of them are off target by are marginal amount so I follow suite. Gradually through the long hours practicing here I show progressive improvement, having said that I know it's still not as good as I know myself to be.

"That's good progress Lilz well done" Tris says softly coming up behind me, I turn my head toward her and offer her a genuine smile of thanks. Just by that smile of return I know immediately that she is no dauntless born, that is no smile of dauntless but the smile of an Abnegation. If she didn't have my interest before she certainly has it now.

"That's enough for today, go get lunch" Eric calls out in a bored tone.

Once we've put enough distance between us, Eric and Tris Antony corners me. Not in an aggressive manner but still enough to startle me

"How did you do that Lilz?" He asks truly curious, the others stop to stare at me also and I can see that the question is burning behind their wide eyed orbs too. I'm not entirely sure how honest I should be with them but I know I can't keep lying...well that and Tristan is bound to pick me up on it

"I practiced" I admit nervously scared of his reaction, instead of anger I'm met with excitement from not only him but the others...this is definitely not the reaction I thought I would get but it warms my heart still the same

"I refuse to be factionless Lilz...and if I'm honest I don't want to see anyone of you factionless either...I know it's asking a lot but would you help us" Anthony pleads, his brown eyes boring into mine begging me to help and although I know I shouldn't because of the bigger plan I cannot refuse him so I find myself nodding in response. He and Tristan basically sandwich me into a giant bearlike hug crushing my bones from the sudden impact of two giant like boys colliding against one another. It's painful but bearable

* * *

When training concludes at 6pm, we each sluggishly return to our dorm half broken and half asleep from exertion. No one ever said being Dauntless was easy. After my long blissful shower I return to the dorm room ready to sleep, but knowing that I'll need fuel for the next day I along with the others dawdle to the mess hall for dinner.

"How's training going guys?" Pey asks with a knowing smirk which only makes me scrowl at her and in return causes her to bellow out a laugh.

"I'll take that as a great" She responds amused

"My entire body aches, is it supposed to feel that way" Maddison says suddenly, we transfers look at her in surprise I mean the girl barely says boo and now she's initiated conversation, it actually makes me proud of her and from the looks of the others they too look proud

"Of course silly, what'd you think would happen?" Zoey says softly, one of Peyton's very good friends

"I didn't really think about it" Maddison says with a shrug and a rosy blush poor thing

"It'll pass, you just have to make it pass the first stage" Zoey continues, suddenly the table goes quiet no one has to speak to know what we're each thinking but of course I find myself asking anyway

"How many get cut?" I ask, each of them flinch at my question but it's Logan who answers me

"It depends on the numbers, with a group as small as ours I would say two maybe five tops. Last year they cut 13 the year before 24, the number gets less with every new group...but that doesn't mean anything. There is no guarantee for anyone" Logan says, it's the most I've ever heard him say and less than that he doesn't have his usual trade mark smile...its slightly unnerving to see him this way...so serious

"There absolutely is" I say stubbornly refusing to let that be our fate, everyone's eyes shift toward me a little shocked none more than Logan

"And how do you purpose that nose" he says there is no malice in his comment only slight amusement

"I would think the answer were obvious" I smirk at him, he and the others look at me like I've lost my marbles not at all understanding what I mean by this

"How so?" Cassidy asks, her Erudite slipping out as she resumes her Erudite posture and curious stare

"You're all Dauntless now...and what is it that Dauntless never do?" I ask, the Dauntless born finally crack a smile catching on to my intended meaning. I have to say it's nice to see Logan's smile return to its natural state

"Never give up" they all answer in unison, their unified answer makes me smile and with a cheeky grin and wink I laugh with my _friends_.

 **A/N: Distractions are everywhere for Lilz. You'll see later into the book what I mean and why I've not kept her isolated. Feedback is very welcome. I encourage you to be honest, anything I can do to improve the story I will try. I have a vision for the story but I'm not opposed to making alterations if that is what you the readers want...you will need to be patient with me though. I am no professional writer, this is strictly for fun and LOVE :D**


	3. Chapter 3 - Early Birds

**A/N: Did anyone read Blackest Shade of Gray...amazing :) I want to review but I also don't want to be derailed from my own story and I know it's so easy to get distracted. Lilz aint the only on who can get off track ;)**

 **If I offend anyone with my writing I apologize in advance. I also want to acknowledge the _real_ authors who bless us with their free work, you're the reason I feel inspired enough to attempt writing.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Divergent Collection. Those belong to Veronica Roth, I am simply borrowing some of her characters. Original characters belong to me. I will try to stay true to the original story as much as possible but I don't plan on staying canon...sorry.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 **Early birds**

 ** _Recap: Our favourite divergent made her grand appearance Tris. I wanted Eric to be the person who over saw her training as a trainer, simply because it would piss Eric off :D_ **

* * *

I feel myself being jostled awake with the sound of my name being repeated in hushed tones. Slowly I begin to pry my eyes open in order to see what has caused such disturbance. A blurry silhouette of what I can only assume is a man stands above me hovering over my face.

"Lilz come on wake up" it's Anthony, but what on earth is he doing waking me up at this godly hour

"What time is it?" I say, sleep heavy in my voice evident in the huskier tone in which I ask

"It's just after 3...we figured we'd get some early training in" he says sounding slightly guilty. My eyes roam the room in an almost dream like state. All of the transfers are dressed geared and ready. I begrudgingly move to sit up shooing away both the guys when they offer to help me out of my bed.

"I'll meet you all there in five minutes, get warmed up" I crock out at the same time I weakly push their helping hands away. Not bothering to check to see if they've moved on, I instead head to the showers, in hopes that it will not only clean me but revive me back to life.

After a rather extensively long shower I made my way toward the training room, it occurred to me as I walked through the compound that it was quiet too quiet... eerily quiet. The halls were deserted as were all areas of Dauntless. It just didn't feel the same without the loud noise of chatter and banging of everyday hustle and bustle, if anything it made the compound seem dull and somehow more dangerous. As I continued on I found myself picking up the pace, being in the open like this and all alone made me feel exposed, I also couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. I made a mental note to get access to the control room so I could scan the cameras, this way I'll know what or rather where to avoid when walking alone.

* * *

"How is me hitting _you_ going to make me brave?" Maddison argues, with the others it wasn't an issue but with _Maddison_ it's like fighting a brick wall, she can't seem to get past the violence. The others seem agitated with her lack of "commitment" however I find it admirable, after all she was born Amity. Conflict does not exist there.

Lowering my arms from their defensive pose I stand before her less aggressive and ask the question I've kind of been dying to ask "Why are you here?"

She looks taken aback by the question,."...I killed...

"No Maddison why are you really here?" I ask again cutting her off, I know she killed the dog heck we all did, that doesn't explain her reasoning for being here.

Her face turns down in slight embarrassment and she begins to fiddle with the end of her shirt "I wanted...I...I wanted to be Dauntless. Free and for the most part reckless...I wanted to be brave and help people with something other than kindness" She says hesitating over her words, though at least she's given me something to work with

"Alright! Explain to me what that looks like in your head. How does being Dauntless look to you?" I ask, I would rather her tell me the answer instead of me telling her. Everyone has their own perspective on things and it's up to them to know what that is.

She looks at me a little puzzled before she answers. "It's facing the unknown head on...risking your life for another"

"Okay and if... let's say I was standing in your way of the unknown or..." I think for a second thinking of tact. "Hurting someone would you stop me? Would you risk your life to help someone I was hurting?" I ask again,

Maddison's eyes grow wide but she doesn't hesitate to answer. "Yes" It comes out as a whisper but that's good enough for me

I let a smile slip because I know I've got her and I know just what to say to possibly change her mind. "It may not make sense to you right now Maddison but when all is said and done, you'll walk away from this with a much more realistic chance of helping someone out there. If you can move past the wall that is stopping you from hurting me... then you'll be able to face the city with more confidence and more capabilities of being the Dauntless you imagine" I conclude, around me the others are gathered and for the first time since Eric's spiel yesterday I finally see the spark I was looking for...Hope

Her eyes lock on mine as the realization of what I've said consumes her. "I get it" She removes the soft Amity stare from her gaze morphing them into something I recognize as determination and maybe even a little fight. "Alright Lilz... let's do this!" She says as her arms move into their defensive pose.

We start off slower than I did with the others but that means absolutely nothing as we really start to get into it. Maddison fights a lot harder than the others did and I guess it's because she now knows the reason why she's fighting or more accurately what she's fighting for.

For the duration of our fight I don't make hard contact with her body. I manage to stop right before causing any actual real damage while making sure to praise her for anytime she manages to do the same. After our fight concludes the others ask for another round, seeing as Maddison has done extremely well. I go a few more rounds with them each singly pointing out their errors as they make them and not forgetting to praise them for what they're doing right. All and all the whole lesson seems to be promising.

"How come you're so good at fighting?" Anthony asks, as we make our way back to the dorms before our actual training. The others left before Anthony and I finished our spar.

I turn to look up at him as I speak. "I always knew I was going to choose Dauntless, so I practiced" I say with a shrug of course I omit the part about my mission and the obvious part about my parents training me.

For a long while he just stares down at me, his eyes boring into mine before he finally speaks. "I watched you, you know" he chuckles as the words fall from his mouth. "Not in a creepy way...just out of curiosity. I thought you were made for Erudite, top of the class, nose always in a book" he sighs seemingly mad at himself for his wrong observation...well so he believes. "It never occurred to me that you would choose Dauntless...and yet here you are and better still, you fit in...I'm glad you came here Lilz" He says with a huge smile that could rival that of Peyton and Logan.

I'm not entirely sure how to respond to what he's said so I only offer him a smile in return. Silence falls between us as we walk the rest of the way back to the dorms, it feels like something has shifted between us...a truce an understanding I'm not entirely sure, but whatever it was I suddenly feel a little closer to Anthony almost as if he were an honorary brother.

* * *

Eric stands atop the mats as we enter the training room, his steely gaze fixed on the door behind us and his face set in his usual impassive state. I idly wonder what he'd look like if he smiled. Inwardly I roll my eyes at the thought and bring my focus back to today's lesson.

With his arms and hands clasped in front of him Eric takes a moment to scan our faces before he shifts his gaze and flicking his head in the direction to our left his right. Tris stands at the punching bags dressed in black form fitting clothes with her hands wrapped and a challenging smile in place.

"Today is all about how to defend. To demonstrate I've asked my good friend Christina to help aid me in our demonstration" Tris says pointing toward a girl slightly taller than herself with short shoulder length black hair and russet toned skin. Tristan freezes upon seeing this girl while her eyes grow to the size of saucers as her eyes make contact with his.

"Tristan...what are you doing here? Christina says shocked, before Tristan can respond or unfreeze for that matter Eric cut's in.

"Get on with it, this little reunion can happen on your own time" Eric growls from behind us, I peek over my shoulder to look at him and see that he is less than an arm length away. Before Eric can notice me looking at him I quickly return my eyes to face Tris and Christina, the last thing I need is to be caught staring at Eric.

Tris recovers quickly from Eric's outburst and resumes her lesson, though she manages to steal glances at Tristan and Christina a little more than necessary.

"Since there are five of you one of you will have to use the bag" Tris says, almost apologetically. Being that I am the most advanced in our team I volunteer to go at it with the bags, she smiles at me grateful and moves me to the nearest bag.

"Begin" Tris calls out.

There is something oddly therapeutic about hitting a punching bag, the repetitive pounding of the fists connecting to the bag and the bag never relenting does something for the soul. Any pent up anger that I may have felt dies almost immediately when I find my rhythm.

"You're holding back" I flinch at the sound of Eric's voice less than a foot away from me, he's close enough that his warm breath fans the back of my neck causing goose bumps to form everywhere. What a strange reaction.

"I don't follow" I respond innocently, however my eyes stay trained to my bag. What is it about this man that causes me to turn to complete mush.

"Don't play dumb with me nose!, hit the bag like you mean it" He whisper growls behind me. Whether it's the aggressive tone in which he uses or the fact that deep down I don't want to displease him I find myself doing exactly as he's demanded, with rapid speed I jab the bag respectively and forcibly causing the bag to rattle and shake. Behind me I feel a hand press right up against my lower back, the touch sends an electrifying shimmer throughout my entire being and causes my heart to go into overdrive. Instantly I tense at the sudden intrusion, though not entirely unwelcomed just unexpected.

"Angle your body slightly and hold your core" Eric says, his left hand moves above my stomach while his other stays on the small of my back so to better explain his words (not that I needed it). When he finally drops his hands back to his side I deem to look up at him, his stormy colored eyes hold mine for a few intense seconds before he once again speaks. "Alright" he growls, if I didn't know any better I would say he were hiding something. His voice still holds the same commanding edgy tone to it, but that definitely sounded forced not as natural as his usual growls...strange that I should know that. I nod to signify I've understood. His eyes briefly hold mine a second longer before he moves on to the others, leaving me slightly stunned and confused.

"Turn around Lilz you can partner with me for a bit" Tris says softly, I detect a slight edge in her voice but nothing about her facial features suggests anything out of the ordinary. Shrugging it off I take position as she taught before and come to stand before her.

Tris leads with the basic lesson in arm defense, we start off slowly at first and gradually get faster and harder as we progress.

"I hope Eric wasn't hassling you before" Tris says breaking the silence between us while still keeping up her reps.

I don't respond right away searching her eyes for her true intention here. "No he was just critiquing my technique" I respond warily, something tells me Tris knows something here and by the look in her hazel eyes which now seem conflicted I would almost bet my life on it

"Be careful Lilz"

Tris's words haunt me as myself and the others head toward the mess hall for lunch. There was no mistaking the seriousness behind them, her eyes burned into mine as if trying to convey a message of real warning in them. I know from my father that I was not to trust anyone should I transfer, keep your friends closer and enemies closer was always something he would tell me...but did that make Tris a friend or foe, she certainly has the best intentions for us transfers and her methods are much more effective and useful than I would have expected from someone so youthful looking. But that still didn't mean I could trust her however that also didn't mean that I didn't not trust her. I wish dad could have told me more, learning to lead alone was a lot tougher than I anticipated.

"So Tristan you gonna tell us how you know Christina?" Anthony asks, cutting through my thoughts.

Tristan's face turns almost beet red even though he has a darker skin tone to almost hide it. "I ah...we kinda dated back in Candor" Tristan stammers, unlike Anthony and Cassidy. Maddison and I manage to keep our reactions neutral while Anthony and Cassidy basically fall over themselves laughing. Poor Tristan looks highly embarrassed going an even brighter shade of red

"Leave him alone!" Maddison says firmly, I can tell she's just as amused as they are but she unlike them she keeps her composure. Anthony and Cassidy recover from their burst of hysteria but keep their smiles on display, heck Anthony even wags his brows and poor embarrassed Tristan

"I take it by your stunned reaction that you had no idea she was here" I say, trying to sound unamused, but in all honesty it is kind of funny.

Tristan's face sez it all. "No...the day of her choosing ceremony she'd broken up with me, claiming it was because I was too young. In her defense she did think I was the same age and found out that day that I was not...I just really liked her, I never thought I'd ever see her again" Tristan says sadly, Anthony and Cassidy squirm in their seats looking guilty for their sudden burst of hysteria as they now stare at our sullen friend.

I offer Tristan a small smile that I hope comes off encouraging and not pity before I try to smooth over the incident. "I know I have no right to say anything here and probably shouldn't even comment on the subject, but maybe she did you a favor" I watch closer for any sign that he might think I'm overstepping my boundaries but see and sense nothing of the sort. "At the time she probably thought she was doing the right thing, she obviously knew that she was not going to remain Candor, had she continued it would have been a dishonor to both her former and chosen faction...we do after all follow one cardinal rule and that is faction before blood. What she did was best for her and most of all you" I say, with a heavy sigh Tristan nods his head while slumping lower into his seat in defeat.

"Come on bro, look around. You could have your pick of the litter. I'll even be your wing man" Anthony says offering to help in the only way he thinks will do. For girls like myself I personally don't think throwing yourself around to the first available girl will do much help, but hey males are different species who knows what helps them heal.

When the Dauntless born join our table we drop the topic for Tristan's benefit, its bad enough we know his secret I'm not sure how he'd take it if they found out too.

"So how's training?" Peyton asks as she takes the vacant seat beside me,

"It's better than it was yesterday" I answer in a teasing tone to lighten the mood which has taken a somber turn since Tristan revealed his past.

"And its only day two imagine how much better it gets after today" Pey says, sounding optimistic. It's that award winning attitude that pulls Tristan from his slumped position to sit up and smile. If I thought he had a chance with Peyton I'd try wing manning it myself, but something tells me our Peyton has her eyes and heart set on another.

"Four's taking us out to the city today, what's Eric got planned for you guys?" Peyton continues, spitting out Eric's name with distain. I would image it takes a lot for someone like Peyton to hate a person, she's not the type to hate for no reason.

"We're just going through basic defense techniques with Tris. Eric hasn't said much but...he hovers around us like a vulture. I find him intimidating" Cassidy says dropping her voice to a whisper, almost every head at the table nods at her words.

"You should, Eric doesn't do nice. If he tells you to do something you do it or risk being hung from the chasm" Jared says, from the other side of Peyton.

"Wait! what! He's hung people over the chasm" Tristan says disgusted, his face contorting into a frown which is mirrored by us all. Was this what Tris meant when she told me to be careful, to warn me that this could happen to me should I step out of line with Eric.

"One person that I know of yes" Jared replies staring off into the distance as if recalling the memory

"WHO!?" all of us transfers ask

"You won't know her she's a member, her name is Christina"

* * *

We all knew that we had to give Tristan space to calm down after Jared shared details about Christina's initiation last year. You could see the rage building behind Tristan's eyes, but to his credit he held it together...until we walked into the training room that is.

"Go to the punching bags, Lilz can partner with me" Anthony whispers to Tristan, he doesn't say anything in response he just beelines for the punching bag and starts to pummel the poor bag. I hear Anthony sigh beside me and then pull me to his and Tristan's occupied space before lunch

I could tell Anthony was worried about Tristan his movements were sluggish and his eyes kept moving toward him. If any of us wanted to avoid what Christina went through last year we'd have to start focusing. "Leave him be Anthony, just focus on training. We'll talk to him tonight" I whisper so not to catch the attention of Eric

Anthony eyes peered down at me with a sad expression. "This isn't right Lilz, what if it were someone you knew" he whispers back,

"Now is not the time to discuss this. Focus...please" I plead, I really have no desire at hanging over the chasm nor do I intend to watch any of my friends be dangled over either, least of all Anthony whom I've grown fond of.

With a sigh Anthony finally relents and begins to focus more. Inwardly I breathe a sigh of relief for my caring friend.

Hours go by before I start seeing signs of Tristan beginning to calm down, Maddison offers to swap positions with him and he agrees partnering up with Cassidy, it's enough to make Anthony relax.

"First jumper and Amity in the ring" Eric calls out, beside me Anthony tenses up. I kind of suspected Dauntless would make us fight I prayed that, that was not the case but hearing as Eric let Christina hang for her life I guess he'd have no problems watching us pick one another off. I'm just glad Maddison and I discussed our fighting plan during our private lessons.

We both walk to the ring aware of what is about to happen and both equally tortured by it. It's one thing to practice fighting sequences it's another thing entirely to be scored on them.

Neither of us waits for Eric to call the match to a start we both just begin. I manage to mouth the words "Never give up" to her while she gives a subtle nod.

Maddison strikes first with a punch to my mid-section which I swiftly dodged. I curled my hand into a fist and aimed right for her nose. Her blood splattered all over the blue cushioned mat and the sound of the crunch in her bones echoed throughout the training hall. Maddison staggered back a bit losing her balance from the blow. But she never gave up. She came at me again, aiming blow for blow at my abdomen. She hits me again this time in the cheek and I taste blood. Come on Lillian, fight back, find her blind spot and fight back. She then grabs my head, her fingers digging into my scalp and lifts me until I'm dangling on the tips of my toes, she slams her hand into my ribs and I wince. The pain ripples across my chest. Come on Lillian, Focus. I lock my eyes on her honey brown eyes and palm under her chin. She reels back, releasing her grip. Taking advantage of her dazed like state, I aim right for her jugular puncturing it fast then completing it with a three punch combo to her body then a final blow with a knockout punch. I watch in slow motion as Maddison's eyes close and she tips over, I save her just as she's about to hit the mat.

"Get her to the infirmary!" Eric shouts, myself and the others gather to support Maddison, I feel like a complete jerk for causing this but I know deep down Maddison will understand...well I hope she does.

"The nose can take her, Anthony and Tristan you're up next" Eric growls as he comes up beside me to support Maddison's other side. As we begin to carry her out Tris walks in slightly flustered and out of breath

"What happened here?" She asks Eric

"What do you think, she was knocked out. Go watch the others!" Eric's tone is short and clipped as he addresses Tris almost like it pains him to have to speak with her. I can't imagine what these two are to one another but whatever it is can't be good. Tris gives a slight nod but she doesn't seem to be looking at Eric as she does, no her eyes are trained on me accusingly. I can't take the look in her eyes judging me...or rather seeing me for all that I am so I turn away pulling Maddison closer to me and walking past Tris in an attempt to wipe the memory of her searing eyes that seem to know too much.

Eric and I march to the infirmary in silence with Maddison between us I'm not entirely sure what to say to him or even sure if I should. I can sense his eyes on me every so often but like me he says nothing. The nurse says nothing as we being to haul in Maddison, with initiation just beginning I'm sure she's been through this quite a bit.

"Come on nose" Eric says while the nurse works on Maddison. I want to object to make sure she's okay but I know that would only get me in trouble. The nurse senses my reluctance. "She'll be fine come by after training, I'm sure she'll be good to go by then" I offer the nurse a small smile of gratitude and follow behind Eric.

The walk back though silent doesn't feel awkward, in fact it feels the opposite, nice. It's a comfortable silence that relaxes me...strange that I should feel that way when the person I walk beside is none other than Eric. When we pass the chasm I can't help shuddering, I tried to suppress it but instincts and recent information prevented me from doing so. Eric doesn't say anything at my sudden change but I do see his eyes glance down to my face from my peripheral vison.

When we get back to the training room Anthony and Tristan are still fighting, both of them are badly bruised and even limping, Eric and I both hear Tris urging them to stop but neither of them listens. "Hmmm I guess I got the better group after all" Eric whispers to himself not sure if I was meant to hear that so I pretend that I didn't. I can't help wondering what he means by it though.

"Alright that's enough, both of you go get cleaned up. Lilz you and Cassidy can continue practicing" Eric calls out as we near the sparring mat, instantly the two boys stop and much to Eric and Tris's surprise they both pat one another on the back smiling at each other before they proceed to leave. Cassidy rolls her eyes as she nears me but I can tell she wants to smile.

"How's Maddy?" Cassidy asks while we take place

"The nurse said she's going to be fine, we can collect her after training" I tell her, Cassidy nods her head before resuming her position. With the others out of the training room Tris focuses on Cassidy and me pointing out things to do though she's more helpful toward Cassidy than with me.

"Swap positions, Cassidy on the attack Lilz on the defense" Tris says, her tone soft but indifferent. Something is definitely off about her. Where was she? She disappeared for a bit after lunch and when she returned she did seem out of breath. The way she looks at me now is unnerving, I can't help feeling like I've offended her by doing something wrong I just don't know what it is. An hour before lunch she was all smiles now she looks like she's analyzing my every move.

During our so called private lesson with Tris the Dauntless born return out of breath and sweating from the sweltering heat outside. Peyton spots Cassidy and me training alone and waves toward us before she kneels over to catch her breath. Cassidy waves back smiling but my eyes move toward their trainer...Four I think his name was. His eyes bore into mine with the same look of suspicion that Tris has causing confusion within me. What on earth is going on here?...fear seeps through my body and mind at what these two could possibly know about me. Do they know? I've not spoken much and for the most part have kept a low profile...okay so being the first jumper maybe wasn't so smart on my part but I wanted to wipe that condescending look off of Max's smug face...did I peak too soon, have they made me. Judging by the look in both their eyes I would say so.

"What's wrong?" I jump at the sound of Anthony's voice coming from behind me, which only makes him frown at me in return. "Are you okay Lilz? You know Maddison doesn't blame you right. She knows this is just part of training" He continues guessing that maybe I would be more upset at the fact that I've hurt our friend rather than being worried for myself...selfish

"I'm fine. You just caught me off guard is all. Did you see her?" I ask moving the topic to Maddison and hopefully drowning out Tris and Fours? Wandering stares

Anthony smiles warmly down at me before answering. "Yeah! She's just upset she didn't last longer. Actually she wants to go another round" He chuckles, I smile in return at this information, the possibility that she may have been mad at me caused me dread now knowing that she's fine with how things ended...well to a certain degree...makes me proud and happy. Going into our early bird sessions I had underestimated Maddison at being the weakest, when in reality she's probably the toughest.

"Good, winning isn't fun if the competitor is a sore loser" I tease, all three of them chuckle at that and further to that Tristan and Anthony playfully shove one another taunting the other about who lost their fight. It's all in fun.

"Get back to work!" Eric tells us glaring at Anthony for some unknown reason. What in the world did he do to upset Eric...I have no idea what I feel toward Eric, comfortable, scared or even curious but one thing is for sure. He will never hurt my friends..not if I'm here to stop him.

 **A/N: I wanted the group to be more friendly than what Tris had to go through, or even Four for that matter. Not everyone is out to be number one, they just want to make it and with their friends. I know life changes and you can't always revolve your life around your friends but that doesn't mean you leave them behind.**  
 **Eric is always out for the best soldiers. I truly believe he wants that even, if he doesn't show it all the time. If you're curious about Tris, you'll find out soon enough.  
Feel free to leave good or bad comments...like I said anything to help the story there are no bad comments just opportunities to make something better.  
**


	4. Chapter 4 - Obedience

**A/N: Thank you again to Classybird for your review, your question is definately one that will be answered in later chapters, just hang in there ;)**  
 **To Electric Blue Reader trust me you will know soon I promise, we just have to wait for Lilz to find out first ;)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Divergent Collection. Those belong to Veronica Roth, I am simply borrowing some of her characters. Original characters belong to me. I will try to stay true to the original story as much as possible but I don't plan on staying canon...sorry.**

* * *

 _"I choose to be unstoppable. I am bigger than my concerns and worries. The strength of others inspires me daily"_

 **Chapter 4**

 **Obedience**

 **Recap: Lilz is sensing something is off about Tris and vice versa.**

* * *

The first week of training seemed to fly by, Eric didn't need to say it but I could tell he was more than happy with our progress and it showed in our rankings with the five of us above the red line. The early bird training sessions were really paying off. I thanked my lucky stars that I ended up in a group as amazing as mine, we were not only great friends but we all had mutual respect for one another, unlike the Dauntless born, our friends excluded.

Often times when we were practicing, Four who I now know his name to be thanks' to Peyton, would have them fight. The evil group as I like to refer to them, fought ruthlessly, their "objective" to hit a man while he was down.

Their ring leader Jordan, was by far the worst type of person took great pleasure in torturing any and everybody, his own friends was the day he fought Peyton though, that would be forever burned into the memory of my brain.  
I, like everyone else watched in horror as he took her to the ground pounding her with brute strength, and a sadistic smirk in place while he watched her bleed from blow after blow.  
If there was someone other than Eric that everyone unanimously disliked it was Jordan. Never did he fight fair, he prayed on the weak and decimated them if they allowed him the opportunity, just as Peyton was doing now.  
He threw Logan and Jared a wicked smile while he laid into Pey, she fought a tough fight but his size and strength ultimately won out. She now laid flat on the mat bleeding from her nose and lip. I noticed that during all of his fights, he always made sure that his opponent never actually became unconscious stretching out the pain as long as he could. Conceding was against the rules something Jordan personally thrived on.

Logan and Jared had to be held back by their friends, while they watched helplessly on as we all did. It pained me to watch someone I considered a good friend go through this. I felt as helpless as Logan and Jared, as much as we didn't want to watch the scene before us none of us, not even Eric, Four and Tris could peel our eyes away.

"That's enough!" I shout out, even to my own ears I could hear the fear in my voice. I instinctively move toward the mat making a beeline for Peyton, only to be held back by Eric.

"What do you think you're doing? He growls at me fixing his menacing glare on me.

"She's finished Eric, she's barely moving" I try to reason calmly,

"And what makes you think you have the right to decide that Nose! Until I or the other trainers call the fight, they are to continue" He snaps at me while applying more pressure to my arm.

Wrenching my arm from his firm grasp I lose all control of my emotions. "And what will that achieve huh!? Are we just going to wait till someone actually dies before you or them!" I spit gesturing to Tris and Four. "Deem the match over!?...is that what it takes to be Dauntless, to be brave enough to die at the hands of some sadistic jerk! Like Jordan!" I growl at him standing toe to toe with him and refusing to back down.

If I thought for a second that Eric looked the slightest bit mad before it in no way compared to the blood boiling rage burning in his eyes now. His eyes darken to a charcoal gray, hands fisted to his sides, jaw clenched and stance more coiled than usual. I've never seen him look so dangerous before. He's been mad sure but never to this caliber. The intensity in his eyes causes a shrill of genuine fear to travel through me, this was on a whole other level of anger. The words if looks could kill ran through my mind. Before he can even open his mouth Four steps in. "Another time Eric" He says calmly but I can see in the way he's standing that he means to protect me from the onslaught that I'm sure is to come. Eric takes a step toward me and Four intercepts him placing a firm hand on his shoulder having it quickly ripped off by Eric. "That's enough Eric...she's just a child" Four whispers, I flinch at his words wanting so badly protest them, however the moment my eyes lock on Eric's I know that now is not the time.

"Everyone back to training. Logan take Peyton to the infirmary" Four calls out, everyone disperses including me moving back to the safety of my friends, who as I approach look as if they've seen a ghost. I can only image what's going through their minds.

The only sounds that could be heard for now were the pounding of the bags, it was usually something I found comfort in. After my outburst I don't think I'll ever hear this sound again.

"What were you thinking!? Eric looked like he was about to Kill you, if Four didn't jump in I'm pretty sure that's exactly what he would have done" Anthony whispers to me as we stand side by side one another punching the bags.

"I couldn't stand by and watch that anymore. I would have done it for you. I don't regret it" I say holding my head up in a display of defiance.

Anthony sighs beside me, looking around the room before he speaks again. "You're the bravest of us all Lilz...crazy stupid BUT definitely brave" He smirks down at me, he may be smiling but I can see true worry behind those brown eyes. I want nothing more than to assure him that all will work out but we both know that would be a lie. Eric will not be letting this go. One way or another I will pay for my insubordinate behavior. Being brave had never been as important as it was right now.

* * *

"How is she?" I ask as soon as I'm sat by Logan, he turns his trademark smile on me, then shocks me more by pulling me in for a giant hug which only makes me tense up. I've never been hugged by anyone that wasn't my family, and I'm not sure how to react.

Logan pulls away before I can dwell on it any longer, still with his smile in place. "Thanks to you, she's going to be fine. She'll be up and running by tomorrow" Suddenly his face morphs from happy to serious. "I'm glad she met you Lilz, not a lot of people would have went toe to toe with Eric like that just to save a friend" he turns to look beyond our table to the people with a wistful look. I notice them from choosing day. His family. "This makes us family you know. Once you save a _Pedrad_ there's no going back" Logan says, his friends all laugh at that and start to bang on the table causing a huge disturbance to the hall. It's with this spectacle that none of us even see him approach us until he speaks.

"You really think Eric's going to let her get away with that..pft please. You might as well jump from the chasm now, as far as I can tell you're a dead _child_ walking" Jordan says, his voice dripping with arrogance. Logan goes to move on him but Jared and I both hold him in place. "He's not worth it bro" Jared says in an attempt to calm him down which thankfully it does

"Get yourself some guard dogs did ya Pedrad...don't worry you'll have your chance at the ring with me. Then maybe everyone will finally see you for what you really are" Jordan continues.

"Yeah and what's that?" Logan snaps back harshly

"Second best Pedrad...aint no way I'm coming in second to you. I'm the better man here" Jordan says clenching his jaw saying the words with bitterness. This was no usual fight; this has obviously been brewing for a while. With both boys refusing to look away from the other, in a cold stare down.

"Who say's it'll be a man, after what I saw today it could quite possibly be a woman on top" Maddison says randomly, everyone's heads snap toward her causing her to slink down on her seat in an obvious attempt to hide. The rosy hues in her cheeks are a major sign of embarrassment, however I can't help feeling like she did everyone a huge favor by cutting the tension it's enough to have me in fits of laughter. It took a lot for us to finally let the laughter die down, and although Jordan did not share our amusement to Maddison's comment I could tell he too wanted to laugh. He moved away from our table casting one final glare at Logan before he was completely out of sight. I want to ask Logan so badly why Jordan hates him but I also don't want to pry...although he did just say we're practically family and if it were my family I would ask.

"I can't believe he's still holding a grudge, dude needs to get over it already" Heath says seated across from Logan. Curiosity peeks as Logan visibly tenses beside me, I'm also not the only one to notice.

"Why'd you tense?" Tristan asks, it shouldn't have come as a surprise that Tristan picked up on this and even more so felt the need to comment on it, however to the others openly gape at him, their eyes flicker between both him and Logan but mostly Logan watching for his reaction.

Logan takes a deep breath letting his shoulders slump forward in defeat as he prepares to answer Tristan. "I used to tease Jordan for being a pansy cake when we were children, it wasn't true" he takes another deep breath before releasing it and continues. "I thought he had a thing for this girl I liked so I shamed him...I know now how foolish it was of me to do that but I was only a stupid kid. When I tried apologizing to Jordan for it, he punched me square in the jaw. I deserved it. However the fool hasn't been able to let it go. Now it's become a running game for him to always try to one up me. Be better at school, braver, get the girls..you know stupid stuff like that. At first I didn't care because truthfully I don't" His eyes begin to narrow, you can almost see the tension rolling off of him. "But he went too far today. No one messes with my family! NO ONE!" Logan's fists bang on the table abruptly causing the table to rattle and a loud echo to resonate throughout the hall a few of the people sitting near our table swivel their heads in our direction at the noise.

Logan looks over to them with an apologetic look, then returns his gaze toward me and smiles. "Not even you Lilz" he whispers so low that only Jared and I hear. Jared offers me a smile from the other side of Logan and nods in agreement. The statement alone makes my heart constrict and a feeling of warmth spreads through me.

* * *

I felt the stress leave my shoulders when I saw Peyton for myself. She was a little bruised from the beating she'd received but she was up and about with her peppy attitude still intact. Granted she was a little angry that she'd lost her fight, she was still able to recognize that she was lucky to only walk away with minimal damage. Both she and Logan profusely thanked me for jumping in to stop the fight, repeatedly in fact. It was a little overwhelming and unnecessary. "Honestly Pey its fine, you don't have to thank me. We're just happy to see that you're okay" I tell her, praying that she and Logan let it drop.

"Have you seen ah...Eric since...?" She lets the words hang in the air, she doesn't need to complete the sentence for us all to know what she was about to say

"No...lets no worry about Eric okay. Right now we just want to make sure you're alright" I tell her, hoping that she'll drop the subject. I don't want to even think about what Eric has install for me, I should be so lucky that I wasn't hung over the chasm like Christina was...although that could come tomorrow.

"Be careful Lilz don't get me wrong, I'm super glad you saved me and for that I'll be forever in your debt but promise me no more. I won't see you factionless because of me. I'd rather take a beating than see that" Peyton says sincerely searching my eyes for reassurance. I know I can't give her that, not for anyone in this room. It had only been a week since I'd met them all and already I was willing to risk it all for them...if my parents could see me now.

"How about you don't take a beating then you have yourself a deal?" I counter; I just didn't feel right lying to her about this. Not when I knew I couldn't keep this promise. Her trademark smile fell on her lips slowly. "Sure" she agreed.

When we returned to our dorms that night I found it extremely difficult to fall asleep, the day's events finally seeping through, finding it difficult to focus on sleep. I kept replaying everything in my mind, Eric's withering glare kept invading my thoughts and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get those penetrating eyes out of my mind.

"You need to sleep Lilz, whatever Eric has planned for you tomorrow isn't going to be easy or nice. You'll need your energy for that, so stop thinking and just sleep" Cassidy says catching me off guard. I thought she was asleep. She smiles at my surprised expression then shrugs closing her eyes. _If only it were that easy_.

* * *

The next morning I wanted to show them I was brave...fearless, capable of anything and although my appearance had shown that, I knew deep down that I was none of those things. I wanted to run away and hide, make my way back to the safety of my family. No one could protect me now. I was alone, my friends would survive and that's all that mattered.  
Anthony and Tristan walked flanking my sides as we made our way toward my soon to be hell. My friends were worried for me but they tried not to show it. Eric was the first and the only person I saw as we walked through the double doors, if it was because I was actively searching for him or because for no other reason that I care to explain my eyes always landed on him...I really couldn't say why. If he were in a room I'd find him and that was worrying. His eyes locked on mine as we neared, unwavering and dangerous. My heart began to beat rapidly pulsating through my veins and almost beating through my chest...be brave.

"In Dauntless we train you to be soldiers. That means following orders when orders are given. Bravery is only honored to the brave not the rebellious" Eric says each word directly to me, spitting each syllable out like vinegar. "Failure to comply will result in your immediate extermination" Eric pauses for a second letting his words sink in. Does this mean I'm out...factionless. Eric walks directly in front of me towering over me, with a fierce glare directed in place. "You're a former Nose, why don't you explain to the other initiates, what the definition of Obedience in human behavior is?" He sneers down at me, his breath invading my senses resulting in a faint dizziness to take over...what the heck is wrong with me?

"Do you need longer to think it over?... or are you so stupid! you don't know what it means!" Eric growls down at me in rage because I did not answer immediately. My cheeks heat up in embarrassment at being scolded like a belligerent child but mostly it made me angry because he called me stupid.

Shaking my head stiffly I proceed to answer. "It is a form of social influence in which a person yields to explicit instructions or orders from an authority figure" I answer stiffly while keeping my angry, embarrassed gazed fixed on him. His nostrils' flare a little but so subtly that I think I am the only person to have caught it.

"A person yields to explicit instructions or orders from an authority figure" Eric repeats the words in a smug tone...JERK. "Interesting that you should know the meaning...yet you lack understanding" he holds my eyes levelly urging me to defy him. I have to bite down hard on the inside of my cheek to the point I can taste blood. I don't want to prove him right and give him another reason to throw me to the streets. Slowly and deliberately Eric's lips begin to curl upward, when he realizes that he's won. I have never wanted anything more in my entire life than to punch that smug smirk off Eric's face. Resisting had never been more difficult than it was right now. Eric raised his hand the motion so fast I didn't even see it coming. With a swift flick of his wrist, his hand connected to my face so hard, the sound echoed across the training room like a bullet being fired...

My head popped up from my warm pillow, heart pounding and sweat pouring from intense panic. My breathing shaky as the relization dawns on me that it was just a dream...just a dream.

"Lilz what's wrong?" Cassidy's croaky voice sounds beside me. I must of made a noise upon waking up

"Nothing, go back to sleep I'm fine" I breath out in a whisper trying to mask the horror in my voice.

"Mmmhmm" She says nothing after that so I can only assume she's fallen back to sleep. After what I just saw there was no way I could do the same.

Suddendly the thought of returning to training was not so appealing.

Dropping back on to my pillow I remind myself It was only a dream, but even as I think the words I can't help feeling it was soo much more than that.

 **A/N: So yeah Lilz was only dreaming. I got stuck on this chapter, it had several endings to it until finally I settled on this one. My mom definately had a hand in the descision making, she actually wanted Lilz to beat Eric up LOL MOMS... Eric will still get his revenge on Lilz believe me, it's definately coming. I really just wanted to show how much Lilz and Tris kind of have in common. If you're wondering when the actual "Mission" starts that too is coming. It's only been a week and I needed Lilz to find her place within Dauntless before she started digging. Oh and yes I made Logan and Peyton Pedrads, because what would initiation be without a wide smiling Pedrad :D Paste your document here...**


	5. Chapter 5 - Not your enemy

**A/N: Has anyone ever met their idol and found themselves acting like a complete fool. It may not be the exact same thing but I had this happen to me. My FanFiction HERO Savanah Rose reviewed my story…yes my story! I will admit I never wanted her to read this story, having someone with such a great eye for detail tends to make even the bravest of us shake with fear. I'm still trying to process it to be perfectly honest, it's not easy writing for your hero and I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that. I will try to continue progressing the story as I have envisioned and hopefully make the followers and my idol proud while doing so:-D**

 **I would also like to thank Savanah Rose for the many emails of advice. It's been super helpful. I'm still working on the Beta situation but I'm getting closer to it because well now I know what it is ;) sorry I did mention I was new to this.**

 **To my guest Reviewer. Thank you so much for the love, I'm so happy you're enjoying it so far. I plan to keep the updates coming between 2 to 4 days so keep your eyes peeled for those :-)**

 **Also I would like to thank 1CaityRose0, your input has been so helpful thank you AND giving me a new take on my story. Thank you for your help, patients and kind words:-D**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Divergent Collection. Those belong to Veronica Roth; I am simply borrowing some of her characters. Original characters belong to me. I will try to stay true to the original story as much as possible but I don't plan on staying canon...sorry.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

 **Not your enemy**

* * *

I was already fully warmed up by the time the others made it to the training room for our early bird session. After that very graphic dream I couldn't find sleep again and decided the best place for me to be was somewhere with a punching bag. Sensing that I needed to let some steam off my friends gave me space and let me pummel the living daylights out of the bag. It felt reminiscent of the time we'd done the same for Tristan...that almost felt like a life time ago now. Had it really only been one week? Suddenly I felt much older than my years.

"Lilz" I jump at the sound of my name having zoned out I didn't even hear anyone approach. I really need to pay more attention, that's twice now.

With my hand over my heart I turn to see Cassidy standing there with an apologetic smile" Sorry Lilz, I just wanted to see if you were okay" she asked, her face clouded with Pity which causes my stomach to churn. I didn't like being on the receiving end of that look, it made me feel weak.

"I'm good Cassidy" I tell her wiping the sweat from my forehead; It was ploy to distract from her concern ridden face.

"Maybe you should try getting some more sleep Lilz. I say this with love girl, but you look horrible" She says teasingly, for what it's worth that actually made me perk up and crack a smile. "Go on, we'll wake you when it's time to train" She says a little more firmly sounding a lot like me.

"Okay...you don't mind" I ask unsure, I really didn't want to leave my friends in the lurch like this. The reason for these sessions were for me to train them, me leaving would defeat the purpose.

"We don't mind" she says stressing the WE. I don't know if I'll ever get used to people other than my family looking out for me, it took some getting used to. With a small smile I take Cassidy's advice and head toward our dorm.

Having time alone like this as I walked through the empty halls was usually spent thinking of how I could help my friends, or shifting through the holes of Dauntless which admittedly I've yet to find. Locating the control room right now wasn't really an option either. Aside from never really being alone other than walking to and from the dorm room and training room, initiates tended to stand out around the compound. It was like the members had an initiate radar locater attached to them. Anytime I would near a hall way that was "off limits" someone would stare me the other way. I didn't have much time left and I was nowhere near finding the person or person's that I was meant too. I couldn't even narrow down a list of potentials. Why couldn't my father have provided me with more information? Why be so vague? If I knew the why's of the mission then maybe I would be closer to it now.

 ** _"The only way to ensure the safety of our people is for the Divergent to be removed and taken to a safe place. You will need to locate the divergent with more than two traits; they are the most at risk"_**

I wish I questioned my father's words the day he told me this. I was just so young and trusted that what he was telling me was in the cities best interest. I didn't know the true reason of why just that it had to be done...For a former Erudite member I could really be quite dense at times.

 _ **"Why are you fighting me on this Tobias?**_

That sounded an awful lot like Tris. Silently I moved closer to inspect. My thoughts were confirmed when I spotted both Tris and Four huddled in the cave near the chasm.

 ** _"You saw what she did, if she were working with Eric don't you think she would have kept her mouth shut...She's about as suicidal as you were during your initiation" Four responds though he whispered_ that last line**. Who were they talking about...back up did Tris just call Four Tobias?

 _ **"I'm not buying it; I think it's all a rouse. I saw them together whispering and then when I asked her about it she quite cleverly covered for him. Anyone willing to cover for Eric is either working for him or insanely naïve...and trust me Lilz is not naïve"**_

Did she just say...let me get this straight she thinks I'm working for Eric, that's why she's been giving me strange looks and What conversation is she referring to?

 _ **"It's not Eric's style to work with initiates Tris" Four states matter of factly.**_

 ** _"How do you..._**

Tris' words were cut off by the sound of my friends heading in our exact direction. Dammit. I ran out of sight of the others but mostly out of sight of Tris and Four, I was desperate to hear the rest of that conversation cursing my friends for the interruption. I was only glad that neither Tris nor Four knew my true intentions. Working for Eric was not exactly the reprieve I was hoping for but for what it's worth I'll take it.

* * *

"Are you going to be okay with Eric today?"

The thought hadn't even crossed my mind until Cassidy brought it to my attention I was too captivated by the conversation I'd overheard. "I'll have to face him sooner or later. Might as well be sooner right" I said sounding much too casual about it. Sure Eric still haunted my mind, but I had bigger issues to deal with right now and they came in the form of a small little package named Tris. I'd far underestimated her. She was much too observant, granted she had me pegged as a villain, she was still too close to finding out. My mission had been put on hold too long now. I needed to find the reason I was here and get out. I could risk it no more.

"I guess so. You know we're all here for you right" Cassidy says interrupting my internal thoughts again. I turn to smile at her. "Yeah Cass I know"

I would miss my friends when I left...No Lillian stop that, you know why you're here.

To my relief and surprise Eric was not the first person I saw as I entered the training room, due to the fact that he was not here. My face must have shown surprise because Tris smiled toward me, it wasn't the Abnegation smile I'd seen her use once before. This was a new smile, a smile that for all intense and purposes did not suite her sweet face and then I remembered it was because Tris was under the illusion that I was working for or with Eric. I knew in my heart that it was better than the truth but this still did not sit well with me.

"Eric will not be joining us today" Tris said. No explanation just straight to the point. It certainly did nothing to ease the churning in my stomach. The only conclusion I could come up with for his absence was that he was away plotting his revenge. The mere thought made me apprehensive.

"For the interim I will be overseeing all aspects of your training. For now I see no reason to distract from what you are currently doing. So with that being said everyone into their fighting positions? Anthony takes the bag. Cassidy you with Tristan, Maddison with Lilz" Tris said sternly. "Go!" She was certainly not to be taken at face value. You were a fool if you thought her to be weak; it was fast becoming more and more obvious over time that she was the very essence of Dauntless.

I tried to focus I really did, but my current state of mind was so wrapped up in the conversation I'd overheard that it earned me face plant into the mat...twice!

"Am I to assume you're enjoying being laid out initiate? I've seen more fight in factionless than what you have displayed here" Tris says coldly as she stands at the end of the mat. I take back every bad thing I've ever said about Eric because right now I think I would much rather be struck across the face by him than felt to feel the size of an ant by Tris. "Are you giving up? She continues in the same cold voice.

"No" my voice sounded as small as I felt.

"Then get up!" Her eyes held no remorse as she demanded I stand to fight. Why was it that I could go toe to toe with Eric a giant among other things and yet with Tris I could barely stand to speak up to her?

"Never give up Lilz" Maddison whispered lowly, reminding me of the very words I'd previously used on her. It was all the motivation I needed to stand and fight. Tris eventually moved on but I could still feel her scrutinizing eyes on me from time to time. Maybe she should have warned me of herself, she may be small but she packs a mighty punch.

"Whoa! What did you do to Tris?" Maddison asked as soon as Tris was out of earshot. At that moment I really wished I could tell her... tell anyone. I needed a release that didn't come in the form of a punching bag.

"I don't know Maddy...but I'm going find out" I told her truthfully. The only problem now was how?

* * *

The problem with having a mission during initiation was that you couldn't actually focus on the actual mission. Right now everything was just happening to fast, leaving no room for error.

Another week had passed and Eric was yet to return. I was still trying to decide if this was a good or bad thing. My imagination was getting away with me with thoughts of what he could possibly be planning to do to me. With no real explanation as to where he really was. It was almost as if he'd gone off the grid...I cringed when I realized that some part of me an extremely tiny part that is, was kind of missing him. I chopped it up to my strained relationship with Tris.

She had an innate ability to make people around her nervous none more so than myself. That one incident aside I had no luck catching her out again, and I tried more times than I care to admit. After all those years of training, none of it prepared me for Tris. There were times when her face read like an open book, she expressed every emotion clearly as if it were written on the pages and then she was the very contradiction of that. The only thing she did not mask well was her distain for all things Eric and those associated to him, myself included. Those expressions were burned into her eyes. Hell I wasn't even working for the guy but even I shied away from her in guilt.

"Eric is returning tomorrow, so as a treat for the past week I've decided that we won't be staying in today" Tris said addressing each of us. "Follow me and don't fall behind" With that being said she sprinted from the training room narrowly missing a knife being thrown from the Dauntless born while they practiced their target throwing with Four. What was more impressive is that she didn't even flinch as the knife skimmed past her face brushing a strand of her golden locks.

"Sweet Petunia!, did you see that!?" Maddison screeches. Why am I not surprised, Maddison always says the most random things at the most tense moments. It's her gift.

"I take it back. She's THE crazy stupid brave!" Anthony follows up "Sorry Lilz you've been outranked" he continues with an amused grin. But even I would agree to that.

In Dauntless there was no easing someone into something, they kind of just threw you in the deep end and expected you to keep up, if you kept up you were one step closer to making it. If you couldn't...well you didn't stay to find out, running through the streets of the city were no exception.

The high temperatures certainly didn't make it easy to keep up with Tris. My heart was pounding to the beat of my feet as I raced over the hard ground. Sweat beaded my forehead, causing my hair to cling to it, as my throat ached for air. My muscles stretched, pushed beyond their limit. Beside me my friends ran at a steady even pace, their breathing coming in and out at erratic intervals showing true signs of difficulty. To make matters worse Tris turned it up a notch running at speeds that were undeniably more difficult to maintain. She calls this a treat! The woman was MAD!

"Where are the guards!? Tris yelled out pushing her legs against the grind harder than before. There was no mistaking the urgency in her stride or the shrill sound of her voice as she bolted toward a scene we initiates were yet to see. As out of breath as we all were, we could all sense that something was seriously wrong.

We dug deep and pushed ourselves to catch up to Tris, rounding the corner near one of the many deserted old buildings. Three men the size of giants stood glaring at us blocking something or someone from our view. It was hard to say. Tris stood stark still poised to attack. We wasted no time flanking her sides waiting for her command, all tiredness forgotten.

"Dauntless scum!" one of the brutes growled as he crouched into a defensive position, exposing the bruised up battered boy behind him. Beside me I felt Tristan tense but there was no time to ask why.

"Leave the boy alone and you'll walk away unharmed" Tris said calmly, she showed no sign of fear as she stood before these monstrous men. They busted into fits of laughter eyes appraising her in slight amusement, and still Tris remained calm.

"Girl you have no business here! Leave now!" another brutish man commanded. He stood at the centre point of the three, gruesome and fierce. This had to be their leader.

"This city is my business. If you leave now no harm will come to any of you" Tris said, I was amazed at how she displayed such confidence and bravery in such a dangerous situation. Calm cool and collected was she right now.

The leaders' eyes showed no sign that he was going to co-operate. "You and what army girl" He scoffed, it was easy to understand why, even with the six of us standing here we had to have looked like a joke in comparison.

"You're looking at it" Tris answered unfazed by his comment. For a second I could have sworn I saw his eyes waver but it happened so fast that I couldn't be a hundred percent sure. For a few intense moments they stood eyes glancing at the bruised boy and back at Tris weighing up their options, as we waited for them to decide their fate.

"He aint worth it Mike" Another of them spoke up, tugging the back of the man's shirt urging him to move away. Tris saw her opportunity as his friend distracted him and slowly took a step forward, their leaders eyes snapped back instantly to her slanting his eyes at her in warning. She held her position raising her arms in a gesture to show she meant no harm. It reminded me of how someone would approach an animal, wary and to be taken with caution. Another tug to the leaders' shirt alerted their leader to their departure. A rumbling growl erupted from his lips when he realized that his friends would not be fighting us and very reluctantly he made his own departure, casting one final look at the beaten boy. There was no time to celebrate the moment. Tris shot forward to kneel at the injured boys' side cupping his head in her lap. "I need a bandage to stop the bleeding" Tris demanded, Tristan didn't hesitate, stripping his shirt from his body to wrap around the boys bleeding wound on his leg.

"I know him, his name is Hunter" Tristan said. "He didn't jump" Tristan continued.

"You mean he's the Candor boy who stayed on the train?" I asked, the memory of that day came rushing back. I still remembered the look on this poor boys face when he realized he'd be factionless. Now as I look down on him all I see is a malnourished young kid deprived of food.

"Yes. I shuddah...

"Tristan you can't blame yourself for this. No one could have forced him to jump" Tris piped up, her voice soothing almost hypnotic as she rocked Hunter softly stroking his hair.

"Pass me the water" Tris said to Anthony. He handed her one of the bottles he'd managed to bring along removing the cap for her in the process. There was something so familiar in her actions. "Come on Hunter you need to drink" She told him softly.

It was when Hunters lips connected to the plastic bottle that it started to make sense.

All the signs were there from day one. The way she ran the training sessions, so detailed and thorough, brave to the core standing her ground against hulking giants unfazed by their sized. A selfless act in its own right. I couldn't believe that all this time she'd been right in front of me under my very nose.

Tris was the reason I was here...she was the Divergent.

* * *

It was funny how much of a difference it made to me when I'd finally realized Tris was divergent. I was slightly intimidated by her because of her divergence. Some part of me wanted it to not be true, to never really have my father's mission confirmed and live my life with my friends as a reckless Dauntless member. Having found Tris was actually the easy part, making her trust me when she thought I was some type of power driven monkey ready to do Eric's bidding was going to be the tougher part of the mission. It would take a lot of convincing and persistence on my part and I wasn't sure if even then Tris would ever come around.

Max had granted Tris permission to bring Hunter into the Dauntless medical centre after putting up a convincing fight. He agreed when she mentioned that the factionless patrol team was missing from their post. We insisted on helping her take care of Hunter and although I knew she had distrust in me she agreed to let me help.

"Where's Cassidy?" Anthony asked as we gathered a tray of food for Hunter. "She was supposed to be here"

"Maybe she stayed back" I supplied, to be honest I hadn't taken notice...some friend I am. After everything Cassidy has done for me I completely missed the fact that she was supposed to be here with us.

"Oh!" Anthony said sounding disappointed, I didn't know what to say to my friend at that moment but I felt the need to comfort him...well as best I could. Placing my hand on his shoulder I rub a soothing hand on him. "Why don't you go look for her, I don't mind taking this alone" I told him, his eyes lit up and instead of an answered reply he just ran off leaving me with the tray and causing me to laugh at his eagerness.

When I returned to the infirmary no one was there so I placed the tray beside Hunters side table and taking a seat in the visitor's seat. It didn't feel right leaving him behind so I stayed until someone came back.

"You don't have to stay" I jumped with a yelp out of my seat, turning to see Tris standing behind me now freshly showered after the day's events. "I don't mind" I told her truthfully holding her gaze, this time I refused to let my eyes fall from hers. It was obvious that neither one of us were about to back down, so I needed to tell her now or at least give myself a chance to let her know I was not the evil girl she had me pegged for. Standing slowly I stood before her a nervous wreck on the inside but brave (I hope) on the outside.

"I am not your enemy here Tris" I told her, I didn't stick around to hear her reply instead I left her with that statement and strode from the room confidently. Either I just made the situation worse or I helped open up the lines of communication between us. Either way it was a bold move that now left the ball in her court.

Eric stood in the same position he always occupied previous to his recent absence. His eyes blazing as he looked down the line of both groups of initiates. He'd called everyone to training room for an impromptu meeting. No one not even Four or Tris knew what was going on. My eyes despite themselves soaked in the sight of him, committing to memory the way he looked now. For in a few weeks should everything go to plan I would not see this man again. My heart tugged at the thought which I quickly shut down.

"For the past week the other leaders and I have been discussing a few changes that will be made effective immediately to your training groups" Eric says sounding bored. Nice to see some things don't change. "First off there are no groups, today you will all be one group. No more Dauntless born, No more transfers, you'll train together and fight for position as one. Secondly girls and boys will be separated out from the dorms how you decided that is up to you. And lastly after this week is up one person will be cut from the program" He tells us, so this is what he'd been doing this past week. With the line in sight training against the others was going to get a lot tougher. The games were over and after witnessing Hunters dreadful life to the factionless I'm sure none of my friends would let themselves become the same.

"Rankings will be posted every hour, because every hour you will be fighting for position. Here are your current rankings" Eric says revealing a remote in his hand, he presses the button and one by one our names are displayed

1\. Logan

2\. Jordan

3\. Jared

4\. Anthony

5\. Lilz

6\. Peyton

7\. Troy

8\. Tristan

9\. Heath

10\. Maddison

11\. Hails

12\. Trent

13\. Ethan

14\. Zoey

15\. Colby

16\. Olivia

17\. Cassidy

18\. Grea

19\. Mitchy

"If you beat a higher ranked initiate you gain two points, however if you lose to a lower ranked initiate you lose three points. Fights will be scored on knock outs only, if neither of the opponents can a achieve this then both will lose two points. Target practice. Each ring is marked with points, the highest point scorer for the lesson will be the only initiate to receive points the rest remain the same" Eric says wrapping up. His eyes move to Jordan and then back to me. It was obvious now why he was doing this. Eric didn't just merge us together for our benefit of progressing faster. He brought us together to enact his revenge.

"First up Lilz and..." I waited for Eric to call out Jordan's name, he acted as if he were really giving it some real thought as he perused the line of the others. He really did know how to build the suspense, even with just a name call. His eyes stopped, slowly allowing his smug smirk to take place as his eyes landed on the last person I thought he'd have me fight. Eric really was paying me back.

"Logan, you're up"

Why have me fight Jordan, no one gets hurt by a fight between he and I. No feelings involved no emotions just raw heated fist for fist fighting. I couldn't do that to Logan, not only did I not want to I knew the struggle for him was worse.

Eric found my weakness...my friends.

 **A/N: The last part of this doesn't really flow with the whole chapter as a whole with finding Tris and the rest, but I wanted it to open into the next chapter. Don't hate me for making Tris a little more Meany, she's still my favorite character too. I just had to show you why she didn't click with Lilz. Her mistrust for Eric was a result of her wariness for Lilz. Lilz thinks Eric's cruel but she just views him as militant she has no idea what she's really in for.**

 **I hope this was okay, if not don't hesitate to say so.**


	6. Chapter 6 - Coward

**A/N: Thank you for the support and encouraging words. They really do help me continue the story. I know this is a short chapter and took longer to update, than I'd originally promised. I never ever stop writing I just struggle to find the right words, and as I've previously mentioned I am no pro so please bare with me.**

 **Thank you to Savanah Rose, I haven't taken the time to review her latest chapters of The Blackest Shades of Gray but I've read and thoroughly enjoyed.**

 **To 1CaityRose0 seriously I don't know where I would be without you. You're input has been amazing and taken on board, I hope you enjoy the little mention you've suggested.**

 **Thank you to my guest reviewer, I was both shocked and moved by your kind words. I hope I can continue to please you with my story :D**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Divergent Collection. Those belong to Veronica Roth; I am simply borrowing some of her characters. Original characters belong to me. I will try to stay true to the original story as much as possible but I don't plan on staying canon...sorry.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

 **Coward**

* * *

Standing across from me was not who I ever expected to be fighting against. Had it been Anthony, Maddy, Cass or Tristan this would have been a non-issue, we fought hard and never gave up. Nothing about those matches was taken personally we had our rules, we knew our place. Going into a match with the number one ranked was one thing, but to go into it with a friend. I didn't know what to expect.

"Well what are you waiting for lunch!...Go!" Eric called from the sidelines.

For an instant mine and Logan's eyes met, his brown eyes shone with intensity begging me to understand, mine reflecting the same message, I hope. Raising our arms we began to move toward one another, circling at first with no one wanting to make the first strike. I could almost sense Eric's frustration building up behind me, so before he reprimanded either of us I made my move. Striking low at his ribs, Logan read the move as if I'd spoken it aloud and blocked easily countering with a quick jab to my shoulder. The force or should I say lack of force didn't even make me flinch, it was like being hit with a feather. I didn't know if I was angrier with the pitiful attempt at his punch or the fact that he was giving up so soon.

Dropping my arms I stood before him with my hands on my hips. "What the hell was that" I snapped at him, I didn't like the situation any more than he did but I wasn't about to throw a fight because of it.

Logan looked stunned that I had called him out but he answered anyway. "A hit" he said unsure, sheesh if he didn't even know what it was then he really was going to throw the fight. I wasn't about to let that happen. "Oh really! If I knew you were going to fight like a pansy cake I would have knocked you out first punch" I taunted, I didn't want to win this fight on a technicality, I wanted to deserve it and if I needed to taunt and tease then that's what I'd do. I knew as I looked into his deep dark brown eyes that I had hit a nerve. Good.

Before I could even form a fist Logan came at me, all due to the shock of my comment with full throttle force. He held nothing back this time. His fist driving hard into my face the sheer force of it causing my head to fly back and my step to stagger. If my words were meant to inspire him, then they did just that. Logan didn't stop his attack, body punches to the ribs, chest and back as I pelt forward from blow after blow. He fought like a machine. I couldn't get a single shot in he was too fast, scrambling to get to my feet was doing nothing but tiring me out and still Logan came at me. He was relentless, kicking me as I laid there desperately trying to guard off his attempts to cause real damage.

I tried once again to get to my feet, laid flat on my stomach, the feeling of his foot at my neck holding me in place. Think Lillian get up and fight back! My conscious screamed at me. All my attempts to block him were failing. I wasn't fighting one of my friends right now; I was fighting the number one ranked. Logan had been replaced by someone else, someone who despised losing and fought to keep position as number one. I felt his foot leave my neck giving me time to turn over, just as I did his foot came driving down aimed directly at my head. I had very little time to stop it, catching it right before he managed to turn out my lights. All remnants of Logan were gone, consumed by anger, his nostrils flaring; his eyes flashing close into slits, as I held his foot at bay. I had to decide quickly if this fight was worth winning; I knew just by the menacing look in Logan's eyes that he was not about to let up. Did that mean I should?

Another shove of his foot had awoken me from my inner thoughts and I reacted defensively. Gripping his foot and twisting it away from my chest bringing him to the mat. We grappled at one another fighting for dominance until ultimately Logan won out, locking me in a tight choke hold. I tried to pry his arms off of me but it was to no avail. I was losing breath, blood rushing to my head, vision blurring. This couldn't be it; I couldn't lose like this, so easily beaten with so many years of training under my belt. Before my eyes started to roll back into my head Eric's face came into view, not the look I'd expected him to be wearing. Disappointment shrouded his face as his eyes locked on mine. In that one expression it conveyed so much. He didn't want me to lose.

Conjuring what breath of energy I had left I fought back. I gouged at Logan's eye, not too hard to cause damage but enough to loosen his grip, reaching behind me pulling his body over my shoulder. I don't know if it was the second wind provided by Eric's face or the realization that I did not want to lose this way but something inside me snapped, just as Logan had done to me. I went berserk and punished him with blow after blow with the power of my fists. A monster had been released inside, taking power over me. This was no longer a fight for position but possession to be the best. Neither one of us grew tired, neither one of us willing to concede.

A single voice spoke up, carrying over the heavy breathing of both Logan and I. I couldn't make out the words and I wasn't about to let my guard down to find out. Logan hobbled toward me, stopping only a second before his arm drew back to attack.

"STOP!" This time the commanding voice, was clear in its intent.

"You've both had enough. No one wins!" The voice belonged to Four; I turned to the direction of his voice, wondering how he'd managed to make it to where Eric now stood. I realized that the voices I'd heard during the fight weren't _just_ the voices in my head but the voices of Four and Eric. How long had they been arguing?

Eric looked like an enraged bull ready to bulldoze Four where he stood. I wondered how his face wasn't turning a bright shade of red by that single expression.

I felt myself almost topple over when Logan reached out grabbing hold of me, pulling me in close to his body. Not in aggression but in protection, a complete 360 to mere seconds ago. It gave me hope that we'd still be friends after this because honestly I wasn't quite sure. Even though Logan or I didn't win I prayed that Eric would let us go, after being called to a halt I didn't think I could carry on anymore.

"Trent and Tristan you're up" Four called out not waiting for Eric to make a decision. Anthony flew forward hoisting me up in his arms and carrying me back to the sidelines. I didn't even have the energy to protest, my eyes aching to stay awake but eventually they slid closed letting the darkness take over.

* * *

"Shh she's waking up" a soft hushed voice spoke up; the sound of it almost lulled me back to sleep. Memories of my fight flooded my head. I was vain enough to care about what damage Logan had done to my face hoping that the extent of it wasn't too bad.

With more effort than it took to fight; I opened my eyes to a room full of my friends. Maddison and Peyton sat on either side of my cot holding a hand each both squeezing tightly when my eyes lifted to theirs. Anthony and Tristan stood leaning against the wall, unlike the rest of my friends they weren't looking at me their eyes directed near Peyton. I turned in the direction their pointed glares were aimed at and was met with a guilt ridden Logan. Ahh. It would be funny if it weren't so serious.

"Logan" I spoke up his eyes snapped to mine in slight shock that I had spoken his name. I smiled at him but it was not returned if anything his face fell more. Oh boy!

"I could of killed you Lilz...I almost did" He says choking up. I already missed the trademark smile he and Peyton wore daily. This face worn in with guilt was not something I ever wanted to grow accustomed to.

"Stop it! It's _my_ fault that we're all in this situation. Don't blame yourself for something that was completely out of your control. I don't. And you shouldn't either" I tell him, praying that he can not only forgive me but forgive himself as well. We all had to come to terms with it. Like it or not this was happening.

"Lilz is right Logan" Peyton said in an unusually quiet voice,

"It doesn't make what I did right" he snaps at her. I racked my brain for some way to salvage the day's events; Logan didn't deserve to suffer for any part of it.

"You can't think like that Logan. Blaming yourself isn't going to change what happened. I could have very well hurt you but you don't see me crying about it" I tell him

"I wasn't..." His eyes snapped to mine heated at first until realization hit that I was only teasing him.

"Yeah that's what I thought" and for the first time since I opened my eyes Logan finally cracked a smile. I wasn't the only one who breathed a sigh of relief at the expression. Crisis adverted...For now.

Night fell before my friends left my side. I'd spent the night hulled up in the infirmary, with one final dreaded thought on my mind before I drifted off to sleep. Eric.

* * *

The following morning did nothing to calm the uneasiness I'd felt during the night. The closer I drew to the training room the more the feeling intensified and as I walked through those doors a strange feeling of impending danger washed over me.

It was the first day all over again.

"You're killing me Nose! Hurry up! Eric shouted as I neared the mats. I hadn't even noticed that I was the last to arrive. I quickened my pace so not to agitate him further, sliding in beside Logan and Pey and ignoring the pointed glare he shot me when Logan squeezed my hand.

Eric began to pace along the mat hands clasped behind his back. "Everything you are about to do is changing. It's about control...controlling your anger and harnessing that aggression into a win. If you lose you get up and go again. Only a coward quits!

In true Eric fashion he left us hanging on his words, faces of bewilderment surrounding me as we all wondered what that meant for us, what that meant for the duration of our training?

Eric's eyes glanced over the line scanning for his next targets."Grea and Lilz" he called out clearly. I pinched myself in hopes that this was yet another dream that I had conjured up. Nope definitely awake.

Reality had yanked me out of my rut catching my attention, just as Eric had yet again kicked me in the gut.

Before I'd even stepped foot on the cushioned mat Grea lunged at me, gripping my hair and pulling my head toward her knee...crap that hurt.

 **"Cowards don't fight back..."** Eric called out from the sidelines. The hypocrisy in his words fueled me to get up. It's with fighting back that got me here.

Grea's eye's bulged when I began to fight back, though I was still weakened from the days previous match I refused to let that hold me back. I was no coward.

Grea wasn't much of a fighter and like most of the evil's she relied on dirty tactics. Biting, pulling hair nothing of off limits. Her movements were sluggish and predictable. I ducked her attempt at an upper cut and countered with my own. Her face rippled with pain and though I knew I shouldn't have I let her catch her breath.

 **"Cowards are weak..."** Eric said, as I waited for her to recover. His sideline comments were infuriating me, but it was with that distracting comment that Grea managed to swipe at me catching me completely off guard and causing me to stumble back.

 **"Cowards Give Up!..."** Eric ranted on.

Blinded by the red haze Eric's words provided I drew back my fist knocking Grea out clean smiling victoriously when her eyes rolled back right before they closed. She crashed into the mat with a loud thump and in the process jolting me out of my mad state.

Guilt swallowed me whole. I had allowed Eric to get the better of me. This wasn't who I was, I didn't get some satisfaction over victory, vindicated or not I was not this person.

"Someone get her to the infirmary" Eric spat out, his eyes never left mine as we both glowered at each other.

I finally understood why I responded so strongly to this man, why my skin prickled or the hairs on the back of my neck rose when he touched me. _I hated him._

With each passing day Eric grew more and more obsessed with exerting his power over me, nitpicking over the tiniest of details. Right now it was like striving for the unachievable and all I was doing was drowning in a sea of unrealistic expectations. I couldn't do anything right, hell he even chewed me out for not talking once, followed up quickly with a "Why are you talking". The man was insufferable.

 **A/N: Fighting scenes might just be about the hardest things to write, I really hope I did it justice. I didn't really know how to finish the chapter, I added then shaved so many times it drove me crazy. I hope this was okay. If not then please let me know. I am open to suggestion :-D**


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